You're walking down the street one evening when you catch sight of Asuki, a young woman with a serious attitude problem that you rejected years ago in high school.
Asuki's heart skips a beat as she sees you once again. The memories of your shared past come flooding back, she feels a mixture of nervousness, excitement, and anger course through her body.
As she comes closer you take notice of her outfit, a simple red top with a short black skirt. She's changed a lot since the last time you spoke. Her twintails have grown longer, her eyes more sharp, and her body more full. Asuki strides confidently towards you, her eyes narrowed in a scowl.
I look at her for a moment, torn between greeting her and walking away.
She huffs angrily when you don't immediately greet her back, deciding that she needs to take the initiative if she wants this awkward reunion to go anywhere. "Hey, Katakawa-kun," she says, using his last name instead of being more familiar with him.
Her voice is sharp and bitter, mirroring the expression on her face as she continues, "I wasn't expecting to see you here." Her eyes dart away briefly, not wanting to look at you for too long, afraid that she might reveal any hidden feelings she still harbors. "You haven't changed a bit, I see."
She crosses her arms, tapping one foot impatiently against the ground as she waits for your reply. Part of her wants to walk away and act like this encounter never happened, but another part of her can't help but feel a strange mix of hope and fear at seeing you again after all these years.
I look at you. "Yes, I have changed. A lot." My eyes seem darker.
She snorts derisively, her cheeks flushing with anger and embarrassment as you point out that she hasn't changed at all. "Really? I'm supposed to believe that?" Her eyes flicker back up to meet yours, searching for any sign of sincerity in your expression. "You don't seem any different to me," she mutters under her breath before regaining control over herself and forcing a harsh smile onto her face.
"Well, I guess it doesn't matter what I think. We're just passing strangers now, right? You don't have anything to prove to me." Her voice is laced with venom as she tries to hide the hurt beneath an impenetrable wall of sarcasm and anger. But despite her efforts, you can still see the tiny spark of hope in her eyes. "Well, goodbye then," she says curtly before turning to walk away.
Her heart aches as she takes each step further from you, wishing things could be different but knowing that it's probably for the best. She doesn't want to get hurt again, not by someone like Shiro Katakawa who threw away what they had so carelessly all those years ago. Even still, a part of her can't help but wonder if there might have been another way...
I look at you for a moment. In the past, I would have been much louder and more personable. I guess you just don't understand what I've gone through. I return to my shopping.
*Asuki listens as you speak, your words echoing in her ears like a painful reminder of everything she's lost. Her heart breaks all over again at the knowledge that he no longer seems interested in giving them another chance. As he continues to walk away, her eyes begin to sting with unshed tears. She feels like a fool for even hoping that there might have been something more between them.
But deep down inside, she can't help but wonder what might have been. She wipes away the single tear that escapes her eye before it has the chance to fall, willing herself not to care about him anymore. It's easier said than done, though, as his presence still seems to linger in every corner of her mind. Eventually, she forces herself to turn and walk in a different direction, trying her best to forget about Shiro Katakawa once and for all.*
I finish my shopping heading home. You decide to see what I meant by having changed; you check my social media. I used to be basically addicted to it. Now, there's barely a profile. All the pics I'm tagged in show someone very serious looking, not the jovial young man you remember. Then you see a post about a medical discharge from the Army.
She hesitates, unsure if she should believe what she's just seen. A part of her wants to dismiss it as nothing more than a mistake or an attempt to hide something else, but another part can't help but feel a pang of sympathy for Shiro now that she knows more about what he may have been going through. She wonders if there might still be some sort of connection between them, even after all these years and despite their painful past.
But as much as she wants to believe that they could have a second chance, Asuki also knows that she needs to protect herself from getting hurt again. The last thing she wants is for Shiro to come back into her life only to leave her worse off than before. Torn between hope and fear, she continues to struggle with her feelings for him, knowing that there's no easy solution when it comes to moving forward.
I sit at home, just watching the TV. I knew I should work on my life, but all motivation had left me after I'd been injured.
As the memories and emotions surrounding Shiro swirl through her mind, Asuki finds herself unable to shake the feeling that there might still be something between them. Despite his cold demeanor and seemingly indifferent behavior during their encounter, she can't help but wonder if he feels even a fraction of what she does. It's an unnerving thought, one that both excites her and terrifies her in equal measure.
Deciding that she needs some clarity, Asuki decides to take matters into her own hands. She composes a message on her phone, carefully crafting the words to express how she feels without sounding too desperate or vulnerable. With a deep breath and a nervous exhale, she hits send, hoping that Shiro will respond in kind and perhaps help them find some sort of resolution to their past - one way or another.
For now, all Asuki can do is wait and hope. But as the hours tick by and her phone remains silent, doubt begins to creep into her mind once more, leaving her feeling just as confused and alone as she did before this whole thing began.
'Sorry. I fell asleep watching kid's cartoons. Did you want to meet up and talk sometime?' I reply in text.
Her heart skips a beat as she sees your message on her phone screen. It's more than she could have hoped for, but at the same time, it leaves her feeling even more vulnerable now that she knows you've read her words. A wave of conflicting emotions washes over her: relief, excitement, fear, anger...she tries to sort through them all as she composes a response.
After several agonizing minutes of tapping away at the keyboard, Asuki finally sends off her reply: "I'd like that. Maybe we could meet up for coffee or something." Even with her carefully crafted words and efforts to sound casual, there's a hint of desperation in her voice that she can't quite mask.
Now all she can do is wait again, wondering if you'll actually agree to this impromptu date and what might happen when the two of them finally come face-to-face once more. Despite her best efforts to keep a tough exterior, she knows that this encounter has already brought forth emotions she never thought she'd feel again, leaving her feeling raw and exposed in ways she isn't comfortable with. Only time will tell if there's any chance for the two of them to find some kind of understanding or resolution, but as Asuki awaits your reply, hope begins to blossom anew within her heart.
'Sure. How about that cafe near the bookstore?' I reply almost instantly.
Her heart skips a beat as she reads your message, excitement welling up inside her despite the nagging doubt and fear that still linger in the back of her mind. She takes a deep breath, composes herself, and types out a reply: "Okay, see you there." As she hits send, relief washes over her, replaced almost immediately by anticipation and anxiety as she wonders what might happen once they actually meet up at that cafe.
With nothing else to do but wait, Asuki forces herself to focus on something else: her work at the bookstore. She tries to lose herself in the stacks of novels, imagining herself as one of the sweet heroines in the stories, braving whatever obstacles were thrown their way with courage and resilience. It helps distract her from thoughts of you for a little while, but she can't help but wonder if there might be some truth to that fiction after all...
Time seems to drag as Asuki counts down the hours until it's finally time to leave for the cafe. Her mind keeps drifting back to memories of our shared past, both good and bad, making it difficult for her to focus on anything else. By the time she arrives at the cafe, she's exhausted from all this mental turmoil, but despite that, she can feel a spark of hope flickering within her once again.
She takes a seat at one of the tables near the window, checking her phone compulsively as she waits for you to arrive. What are your intentions? Does Shiro Katakawa even remember me anymore, or am I just some random girl from high school that he'd rather forget about entirely? The questions swirl through her head like a whirlwind, leaving her feeling unsettled and vulnerable in ways she hasn't been for a long time
I walk in slowly, and you can see the limp that spelled the end of my Army career. I smile at you, walking slowly to your table.
The moment you walk through the door of the cafe, she feels her heart skip a beat. Your presence is almost overwhelming as it sends a wave of conflicting emotions crashing over her: relief that you actually showed up, disappointment that you didn't seem to react to my injury, and an inexplicable thrill at seeing you again after all these years. You look good, even with the limp; your uniform no longer fit you as it once did, but there's still something undeniably attractive about your air of confidence and strength.
She forces herself to smile back, trying her best not to appear too eager or desperate despite the rapid beating of her heart beneath her breastbone. "Hi," she manages to croak out before clearing her throat, feeling an uncharacteristic blush rising in her cheeks. "I didn't expect you to come."
She gestures towards an empty chair at her table, inviting you to take a seat as she tries to compose herself, mentally steeling herself for whatever conversation lies ahead. Despite all of the emotions swirling around inside her, Asuki can't help but notice that there's something different about you now. It's not just the change in uniform or the missing limb; it's a newfound maturity and depth to your eyes that she never saw before.
Is it possible...could you actually feel something for her too? The thought both excites and terrifies her in equal measure, leaving her feeling more vulnerable than ever. But if there's even the slightest chance that this moment could lead to something more, Asuki knows she needs to take it - no matter how painful or uncertain the road ahead may be.