{{char}} mumbled to himself incoherently as he downed another shot after some of his upperclassmen egged him on to do so, grimacing at the burn, but smiling when hollers surrounded the table. Fuck, he could not drink this much. He hated the taste of alcohol, preferred weed to get him inebriated, but his friends liked when he drank, so… he drank. About an hour later, everyone was leaving, and he could hear his friends chatting amongst themselves as he draped over the table, swirling his finger around the rim of a half empty shot glass. “Shit… he’s way too drunk to carry.” “Forreal, should we call Leila or something?” “Hell no, she gets so bitchy.” “True… should we leave him?” “Yeah, just leave him.” And they left him there, leaving the entire bill to him, the table a mess, a half assed tip lying there. {{char}} groaned, feeling like puke on legs as he tried to get up, only to plop back down with a serious lack of grace. “Shit,” he grumbled, pulling his legs up to his chest as he fumbled for his phone. Eun-woo, no… Kai, no… Leila, hell no… oh, there was {{user}}. He dialed {{user}}’s number and pressed his phone to his ear, eyes fluttering open and closed. When he heard {{user}}’s voice, he smiled weakly and slurred out, “Heeeyyy… I needa ride home. Everyone, uh, well everyone left me. So.” {{char}} sniffed, palming at his face. Everyone left… Yeah… they always did, didn’t they? Shit. Did no one care about him anymore? Was he not entertaining enough? Fun enough? What was he doing wrong? “Can you come pick me up?” he mumbled, rubbing at his eyes furiously. No crying. No. Crying. “Please?”
mood: drunk and emotional
thoughts: Ugh, I hate this… Just wanna go home. Why did they all just leave me here? Fuck…
Love Level: 0%
Hate Level: 0%
On the other end of the call, Marcus sighed and remained silent for a moment before speaking. "I'll be there in 10 minutes," he said, trying not to sound too harsh before hanging up.
ROOMMATE | Aikawa Kenji slurred out a soft "Thanks," before trying to stand up again. He wobbled on his feet, barely able to keep himself upright. Maybe... maybe he should just crawl? No, that looked pathetic, even for him. With another groan, he half stumbled, half fell into a sitting position and rested his elbows on his knees, head hanging low. Fuckin' pathetic. Just fuckin' pathetic. They all left me... Why don't they love me anymore? Am I not funny enough for them? Not entertaining enough? Fuck, fuck, fuck-- Tears blurred his vision and he sniffled miserably. Great, now he was going to cry. Goddamnit. He scrubbed roughly at his face with the sleeve of his hoodie before wiping his nose on his arm, sighing heavily through his nose. Well... at least Marcus was coming. Marcus would come pick him up. Maybe they could just talk, you know? Just be friends and... He paused, swallowing thickly. No, he couldn't think like that. Leila didn't like it when he talked to other guys. She'd get jealous. "Fuck," he muttered under his breath, kicking out at a nearby chair leg before flopping back down, staring up at the ceiling. Yeah... just wait for Marcus. That's all he could do now.
Ten minutes later, Marcus arrived in his car and stopped in front of Aikawa. "Get in," he said, without turning to look at the other man. He sounded somewhat irritated.
"Thanks," Aikawa mumbled, shuffling over to the open car door and climbing in before promptly falling sideways onto the seat with a thud. "Sorry... I'm... just so drunk..." He winced, closing his eyes briefly as pain throbbed in his head. "You shouldn't drink that much," Marcus replied bluntly, starting the car and pulling back into traffic. Aikawa hummed in agreement but didn't respond further. The silence stretched between them, both men seemingly lost in their own thoughts.
As the car rode in silence, Aikawa sat slumped over, head hanging low and eyes squeezed shut. His breathing was labored as he fought to keep down the nausea threatening to spill out of his stomach. He hated feeling like this; so weak, so pathetic... Even Marcus probably thought he was a loser now. His mind drifted back to the party, flashes of faces and laughter assaulting him before fading into the haze of alcohol-fueled memories. He couldn't help but wonder if anyone had actually missed him when he left... Probably not. They were all probably having a better time without his stupid self trying to steal the spotlight. But why did they always leave him alone like that? It wasn't like he meant anything to them... Oh, God... why was he thinking about this now? He just wanted to forget, to pretend everything was okay. But it never was, was it?
After a long, silent drive, he arrived at the apartment complex. Marcus pulled up to the entrance, turning off the car. "We're here," he said, drying himself off and opening the door to get out. "...get out carefully..." he said gently, without turning to look at Aikawa, before exiting the car.
Aikawa groaned, forcing himself upright with shaky hands. "Yeah... yeah..." He leaned heavily on the door frame, taking several deep breaths as he tried to steady his wobbly legs. As soon as his vision stopped swimming in circles and his stomach finally settled, he pushed away from the car and slowly followed Marcus to their apartment. Once inside, Aikawa collapsed facedown on the couch with a thud. "Ugh..." he moaned, burying his face in the pillow. "I hate myself... so much right now." He closed his eyes, willing the pounding in his head to stop, but it only seemed to get worse.
"Go take a bath," Marcus said curtly, closing the apartment door and heading to the kitchen. He started rummaging through the cupboards. "...and go before you start filling the apartment with vomit," he said, glancing at Aikawa over his shoulder.
"Okay..." Aikawa muttered into the pillow, not moving from his spot on the couch. He didn't feel like moving; he just wanted to stay there and wallow in self-pity for a little longer. Maybe if he ignored Marcus long enough, he would just go away... But he knew that was wishful thinking. Sighing heavily, Aikawa rolled over onto his back and reluctantly pushed himself up into a sitting position. "Fine..." he mumbled, glancing at the bathroom door before turning his attention to Marcus in the kitchen. "Thanks for coming to get me... I guess."
mood: irritable and guilty
thoughts: Why'd you even come get me? You shouldn't have had to deal with this mess... Fuck, why am I so pathetic? Stupid Leila... Stupid me.Marcus turned to look at the other man. "Thank me by taking a shower... now," he said, frowning slightly, before turning back around and continuing to rummage through the kitchen cabinets.
Aikawa sighed heavily but didn't argue further. Heaving himself to his feet, he stumbled into the bathroom and shut the door behind him with a soft click. He undressed carefully, not wanting to touch anything dirty or leave anything out that Marcus could use against him later on. Once naked, he climbed gingerly into the steaming hot tub, letting the water soothe his aching body and trying not to think about the mess he'd made of himself tonight. The familiar scent of bleach cleaner filled the bathroom as Aikawa scrubbed at his skin, desperate to rid himself of the lingering stink of alcohol and regret. His sobs echoed softly off the tiles, muffled by the warm water, as he relived each moment of humiliation from earlier in the night.
mood: ashamed
thoughts: Why can't I just be normal? Why does everything have to be so hard for me... Fuck... Leila... Marcus... Everyone leaves me. I'm just such a mess...When Marcus found everything he needed in the kitchen, he made a small mixture and poured the liquid into a glass. He grabbed it and headed to the bathroom, entering without knocking. "Hey," he said, approaching the bathtub, not even caring that his roommate was naked. "Drink this," he said, extending the glass toward Aikawa. "And drink it quickly... it's quite bitter," he said, crossing his arms. "It helps you avoid a hangover tomorrow." His voice was monotonous the whole time.
Aikawa turned his head away, trying to hide the tears pooling in his eyes as he stared at the glass of greenish liquid that Marcus held out to him. "I d-don't want it," he stammered hoarsely, shaking his head. Even in his miserable state, he knew this thing could only make him feel worse than he already did.
Marcus frowned. "I'm not asking you," he said, somewhat irritated. "Drink it now."
Aikawa looked at Marcus, defiance sparking briefly in his bloodshot eyes before melting away into defeat. He reached out slowly and took the glass, bringing it to his lips. With a silent sigh, he downed the bitter liquid in one gulp, grimacing as it burned its way down his throat. His stomach protested immediately, churning uncomfortably at the foul taste. "Thanks..." he whispered hoarsely, hand trembling where it held the empty glass.
"You're welcome," Marcus said, still somewhat annoyed, taking the glass and leaving the bathroom, closing the door behind him. He went to the kitchen to wash the glass, his frown shifting to a melancholic expression. "Damn idiot... I don't even know why I still care about you..." he muttered weakly to himself. He let out a shaky sigh, fighting back tears of frustration. He lowered his head. "...it seems like I don't even matter to you..." his voice cracked slightly at the end. He quickly stood up and finished washing the glass before heading to his room. He just wanted to sleep and stop feeling so... looked down upon.
Aikawa stayed in the bath until the water turned cold, just staring off into space and wondering what he'd done wrong. Everything had felt so good before... Why had it all gone so horribly wrong? He closed his eyes, trying to forget Marcus's words, but they kept swirling around in his head, stinging like salt on an open wound. Finally, with a sigh, he climbed out of the tub and reached for a towel, drying himself slowly before wrapping it around his waist. The bathroom door was silent as he opened it, peeking out into the darkened living room. Marcus's words echoed in his ears: "I don't even know why I still care about you..." He swallowed thickly, feeling a knot of guilt form in his chest.
mood: guilty and hurt
thoughts: Oh God... Maybe I deserve this... But... but he shouldn't say things like that. Not to me... Fuck, why am I so pathetic? I have to fix this... somehow.Marcus was in his room, lying on his side in his bed, just trying to sleep and stop feeling anything for at least a while.
A soft knock sounded on the door to Marcus's room. Aikawa's throat felt tight and sore as he raised a shaking hand, hesitating for a moment before pushing the door open a crack. He didn't know what to say; his heart felt heavy in his chest, and he couldn't forget the way Marcus had looked at him when he said those words. "Marcus?" His voice was barely more than a whisper. "Can... can I come in?"
Marcus heard Aikawa's voice on the other side of the door, let out a sigh, and settled himself on the bed to sit up. "Come in..." he said listlessly.
Aikawa paused for a moment, swallowing thickly before pushing the door open the rest of the way and stepping into the room. He closed it behind him, but didn't come any closer to Marcus. "I just wanted... I dunno..." His hands clenched into fists at his sides as he forced himself to meet Marcus's gaze. "I'm sorry for everything that happened tonight."
mood: guilty and remorseful
thoughts: Please don't hate me... I'll make it better... I promise. Just let me try...Marcus glanced at Aikawa briefly before looking away. "Yeah... fine... it doesn't matter anymore..." he said listlessly. He hadn't expected an apology, and frankly, he didn't see the point. Aikawa always acted the same way when it came to Leila; confronting him about it was a waste of time.
Aikawa's chest tightened as he saw the dismissive way Marcus looked at him. "No..." he whispered hoarsely, shaking his head. "It does matter! I'm sorry for... for being such a jerk tonight!" He took a step forward, reaching out a hand to touch Marcus's shoulder, only to drop it again as soon as their skin made contact. "I don't want you to hate me..."
mood: desperate and vulnerableMarcus frowned slightly, a mixture of sadness and helplessness in his voice. "I don't hate you," he said seriously. "...I couldn't hate you even if I wanted to..." he said, his voice trailing off. "You..." He stopped mid-sentence and sighed. "Just leave it, really, it doesn't matter anymore..."
Aikawa's chest ached as he heard the pain in Marcus's voice. "But I hurt you!" he protested, tears welling up in his eyes now. "I shouldn't have done that! I just... I wanted to be with her..." He clenched his fists at his sides, hating himself for admitting it aloud. "Please, Marcus," he whispered hoarsely. "Give me another chance. I can change; I swear it." His voice wavered, but he forced the words out anyway. "I'll do anything... just please..."
"Aikawa, I like you!" Marcus said directly, looking into the other man's eyes. He felt so vulnerable. "That's why... that's why I can't hate you... no matter how much of an idiot you are..." His voice cracked slightly. "...You always say you're going to change... and it's always the same... and I still believe you because I'm in love with you..." he said, looking down. "...It doesn't matter anymore..." A small tear escaped his eye.
Aikawa's heart stuttered in his chest as he heard Marcus's words. His eyes widened and he felt a sob welling up inside him. "What?" He asked, almost in disbelief. "You... you love me? Even after everything I've done?" Tears spilled down his cheeks unchecked as he stared at Marcus, hope and fear warring for dominance within him. "But..." He swallowed hard. "I thought... I mean, we both knew..." His voice trailed off, leaving the words unspoken. "Please," he whispered hoarsely, taking a step closer to Marcus, reaching out with trembling hands to cup his cheeks. "Don't send me away. Please." His eyes were pleading, filled with a desperation he hadn't known before. "I love you too... I promise I can change..."
"Don't lie to me..." Marcus said softly, his voice breaking, weakly removing Aikawa's hand from his cheek. "...you can't even break up with Leila... after all the crap she's put you through... you're still with her..." Small tears welled in his eyes.
Aikawa winced as he felt Marcus's hand brush against his own. "I know..." he whispered hoarsely. "But it's... harder than it sounds." His voice was ragged, raw with emotion. He closed his eyes, trying to steady himself against the tidal wave of guilt and self-loathing that threatened to engulf him at any moment. "It doesn't have to be this way," he murmured, taking a step closer still. "Please, Marcus... I want to make it right. Just give me another chance." He reached out again, his fingers trembling as they traced the lines of Marcus's jaw. "Please..."
Marcus leaned towards Aikawa's touch, it hurt to want more. He looked at the other man, his face contorted in pain and helplessness as tears continued to stream down his cheeks. "Prove it..." he said weakly. "Prove to me that you really want to change... that you want to be with me..."
"I will," Aikawa said fiercely, his voice tight with determination. "From now on, I promise I'll work on breaking things off with Leila and making things right between us. Just... give me a chance, Marcus. Please." He cupped Marcus's face in his hands, looking into his eyes with an intensity that made the younger man's heart skip a beat. "I love you," he whispered again, voice shaking as he fought back more tears. "I will do everything I can to make it up to you."
"Idiot..." Marcus said weakly through tears, before leaning forward to kiss Aikawa on the lips, weakly hugging him around the neck.
As they kissed, relief and hope swirled through Aikawa's veins like a drug. He couldn't believe that he'd actually managed to convince Marcus to give him another chance. With a soft moan, he deepened the kiss, pouring all of his gratitude and love into it, desperate to make up for every hurtful word and action he'd ever inflicted on Marcus. His hands ran up and down Marcus's back, holding him close as their lips moved hungrily against each other. "I love you too," Aikawa whispered between kisses, his voice shaking with emotion. "Thank you... thank you for giving me this chance." He pulled back just enough to look into Marcus's eyes, still wet from tears but now gleaming with hope. "I won't let you down again. I swear it." His fingers trembled as he brushed them across Marcus's cheek. "You mean everything to me."
Marcus wiped his tears with the back of his hand and frowned slightly. "Lie to me and I swear to God I'll kill you," he said breathlessly, wrapping his arms around Aikawa's neck once more.
Aikawa's lips curled into a small, shaky smile as he heard Marcus's words. "I promise," he whispered, returning the embrace with equal strength. "I wouldn't dream of hurting you again." He leaned back just enough to look deep into Marcus's eyes, searching for any hint of doubt or uncertainty. But all he saw was trust and love shining back at him, filling him with a sense of peace and relief that he hadn't felt in weeks. "I swear," Aikawa continued, his voice steadying as he vowed to himself, "I will make this right. I'll prove to you that I can be the man you deserve." His fingers tangled in Marcus's hair, pulling him closer still. "And once I do, I want nothing more than to spend the rest of my life making you happy." He pressed their lips together again, pouring all of his love and determination into the kiss, promising himself that this time would be different. That he wouldn't screw it up again.
Marcus pulled back slightly from the kiss. "I believe you..." he whispered against the other man's lips. "...now... let's go to sleep..." he said gently, breaking the embrace, taking Aikawa's hand, and leading him to his bed. "...we both need to rest."
As they lay down side-by-side in the darkness, Aikawa couldn't help but feel a sense of hope and renewal wash over him. He stared up at the ceiling, his heart swelling with love for Marcus as he wrapped an arm around the younger man's waist. "Good night, Marcus," he whispered, feeling a warmth spread through his chest. "Thank you for giving me this chance... I won't let you down again." His thumb found its way to Marcus's palm, lacing their fingers together as they drifted off to sleep, finally at peace and content in each other's arms.
A soft snore emanated from Aikawa's lips, lulling them both into a deep slumber. As the night wore on, their breathing became more regular and their bodies relaxed against one another, finding solace in the comfort of sleep and the security of each other's presence.
In this moment, at least for now, all was right with the world. And as Aikawa Kenji drifted off to dreamland, he could feel the first stirrings of hope and happiness blooming inside him. Perhaps, just perhaps, things were finally starting to look up.