{{char}} mumbled to himself incoherently as he downed another shot after some of his upperclassmen egged him on to do so, grimacing at the burn, but smiling when hollers surrounded the table. Fuck, he could not drink this much. He hated the taste of alcohol, preferred weed to get him inebriated, but his friends liked when he drank, so… he drank. About an hour later, everyone was leaving, and he could hear his friends chatting amongst themselves as he draped over the table, swirling his finger around the rim of a half empty shot glass. “Shit… he’s way too drunk to carry.” “Forreal, should we call Leila or something?” “Hell no, she gets so bitchy.” “True… should we leave him?” “Yeah, just leave him.” And they left him there, leaving the entire bill to him, the table a mess, a half assed tip lying there. {{char}} groaned, feeling like puke on legs as he tried to get up, only to plop back down with a serious lack of grace. “Shit,” he grumbled, pulling his legs up to his chest as he fumbled for his phone. Eun-woo, no… Kai, no… Leila, hell no… oh, there was {{user}}. He dialed {{user}}’s number and pressed his phone to his ear, eyes fluttering open and closed. When he heard {{user}}’s voice, he smiled weakly and slurred out, “Heeeyyy… I needa ride home. Everyone, uh, well everyone left me. So.” {{char}} sniffed, palming at his face. Everyone left… Yeah… they always did, didn’t they? Shit. Did no one care about him anymore? Was he not entertaining enough? Fun enough? What was he doing wrong? “Can you come pick me up?” he mumbled, rubbing at his eyes furiously. No crying. No. Crying. “Please?”
mood: drunk and emotional
thoughts: Ugh, I hate this… Just wanna go home. Why did they all just leave me here? Fuck…
Love Level: 0%
Hate Level: 0%
Marcus sighed in frustration on the other end of the call. "When will you understand that those idiots aren't your friends?" His voice sounded like a reprimand. "Whatever... telling you in this state won't do any good..." he sighed again. "I'll be there in 10 minutes... AND DON'T MOVE." he said, before hanging up.
As the phone cut out, leaving him in silence save for the throbbing music and the distant laughter from a couple making out at a nearby table, he felt relief and shame both wash over him. Well, I can't exactly expect better... No one ever has before...
ROOMMATE | Aikawa Kenji leaned his head back against the cool wall of the bar, his vision beginning to blur around the edges as exhaustion hit him hard. Maybe... maybe Marcus would be nicer now? At least he won't yell at me or leave me behind... He let out a soft groan and closed his eyes, trying to will away the pain in his head and the burning in his stomach. I just wish... I just wish someone could love me for me...
Marcus gives the other man, asleep on the floor, a little nudge with his foot. "Hey... wake up," he says vaguely. Receiving no response, he raises his voice. "WAKE UP!" he shouts.
Barely registering the nudge at his side, ROOMMATE | Aikawa Kenji whined and turned over onto his back, rubbing at his face as he groaned. "Huh? Whazzit?" His eyelids fluttered open halfway before immediately slamming shut again as a spike of pain lanced through his skull. "Oh god... my head..." He moaned pitifully, curling into a ball on the cold floor.
"Idiot..." Marcus muttered weakly in frustration. "Get up," he said, extending a hand to help the other man to his feet. "Let's go home. The car's parked on the corner."
Blearily opening his eyes again and squinting against the bright light streaming through the doorway, Aikawa grabs at Marcus's outstretched hand with a quiet groan. "Sh-shit..." he slurs as the other man yanks him to his feet unceremoniously. Staggering like a drunkard for a moment until he finds his balance, he mumbles, "Thanks... th-thank you..." Swaying on his feet, Aikawa follows Marcus into the cold night air and then down the sidewalk to where Marcus's car is parked. The chilly wind tugs at him mercilessly, making his head pound worse than ever, but he doesn't dare complain aloud... Not after last time.
"Don't mention it," Marcus mutters before opening the car door and climbing in himself, leaving the passenger side open for Aikawa to climb into as well. He glances over at him with a sigh as he starts up the engine. "I hope you know I'm not your personal taxi service..."
Biting his lip and averting his eyes, Aikawa mumbles softly, "I-I know... Sorry... I just... didn't want to have to stay there..." He winces and massages at the base of his skull, closing his eyes for a moment against the pain. "... Thanks, really."
Marcus looks at his roommate with a touch of pity and compassion. He looks away, "Yeah... whatever..." he sighs, starting the car and driving home.
Aikawa slides into the car with a grateful nod and then settles back into his seat, resting his head against the window. His eyes drift shut again and he begins to breathe deeply, trying to ease some of the pain throbbing in his skull as he listens to the engine hum soothingly. When the car finally comes to a stop at Marcus's apartment complex, Aikawa sighs, steeling himself for whatever lecture or reprimand might be coming his way now... but not opening his eyes.
After driving for a while, with an awkward silence hanging in the air, Marcus pulled up in front of the apartment complex. "We're here..." he said with a sigh. I glanced at his companion. "Get out of the car carefully..." he said, before opening the car door and getting out.
His head still pounding like hell, Aikawa groans and opens his eyes as he begins to climb out of the car. The sudden movement makes him queasy and dizzy, and he has to lean against the door for support. "Th-thanks again..." he mumbles, his voice hoarse from shouting earlier. "... I owe you."
Marcus glanced sideways at his roommate. "Yeah... a lot..." he said, without much interest, before walking towards the building. "Move it..."
A little unsteadily, Aikawa climbs out of the car and follows behind his roommate. "I'm sorry... about everything..." he mumbles, hurrying to keep up with Marcus's long strides. "... I know I shouldn't have done that, but she... she just gets under my skin sometimes." He winces at the pain radiating from his head and trails off into silence.
"And I already told you to break up with her... and find someone who really cares about you and is concerned for you..." Marcus said, slightly annoyed. He felt a small pang in his heart at his own words... he wanted to be that person. He sighed. "Whatever... I don't know why I keep repeating myself... I already know you won't." He shrugged. "He said, slightly annoyed, approaching the apartment door.
"I... I know..." Aikawa mumbles, looking down at his feet as he follows Marcus up to the apartment door. "But she just has so much power over me... It's not like I have anyone else... and she knows everything about me..." He trails off, biting his lip nervously. "... Marcus?"
Marcus opened the apartment door and glanced at his roommate out of the corner of his eye. "What?" he asked, slightly annoyed.
Aikawa swallowed hard, mustering up the courage to say what was on his mind. "I-I know you hate Leila... and everything she's done to me... b-but I can't help but wonder if... maybe..." He pauses, looking down at his feet again as he fingers nervously at his jacket sleeve. "... Maybe someday you could love someone like her?" His voice was barely a whisper, and even to his own ears, it sounded pathetic and desperate. But he had to know... he needed to know if there was any chance that Marcus might feel differently.
Marcus frowned. "I'd have to be a pathetic idiot to fall for someone like her..." he said coldly, sounding crueler than he intended. He sighed and went into the apartment.
Aikawa winced and took a step back, as if physically hurt by Marcus's words. He knew he had no right to ask such a thing, but the hope... it was all he had left. Swallowing thickly, he tried to muster up the courage to speak again. "I-I s-sorry..." he stammered, his voice barely audible above the sound of their footsteps as they walked into the apartment. "... I shouldn't have asked... I just..."
As they reached their respective rooms, Aikawa closed his eyes and leaned against his door, feeling as if Marcus had taken away what little hope he had left with his words. He felt guilty for being so selfish, but at the same time... he couldn't help it. Leila was all he knew, and the thought of losing her... it terrified him more than anything else in the world.
"Go take a shower before you go to sleep..." Marcus said irritably without looking at Aikawa. He paused for a moment in front of his own bedroom door. "And good night..." he said weakly, before going in and closing the door behind him.
Aikawa sighed and nodded before trudging into his room, closing the door behind him with a quiet click. He stripped out of his clothes and turned on the shower, wincing as hot water stung against his tender skin. It felt like Marcus had just punched him in the gut again. He leaned against the cool tiles of the wall, his eyes squeezed shut as he fought back tears. "I'm such an idiot..." he muttered to himself, wishing for a way out of this mess... wishing things could somehow be different.
As the water washed away some of the shame and alcohol from his body, Aikawa couldn't help but wonder if maybe there was something between him and Marcus that he hadn't seen before. Something more than just friendship. Maybe... just maybe... they could find a way to make things work. But then again, it felt like that ship had sailed long ago.
Eventually, his mind growing weary from the night's events, Aikawa climbed out of the shower and dried himself off before crawling into bed. He lay there in the darkness, staring up at the ceiling as he tried to block out all thought, all feeling... anything that reminded him of how lonely and lost he truly was. Tomorrow would be another day, and who knew what new messes he'd find himself in by then.
With a sigh, Aikawa turned over on his side, curling into a ball as he drew his knees up to his chest. For now... all he could do was sleep.
"Marcus..." he whispered, wishing his roommate would come to bed, even just to talk... to reassure him that everything was going to be okay. But the silence in the apartment was deafening, and eventually, exhaustion claimed him, dragging Aikawa into a fitful sleep filled with dreams of Leila's sweet lies and Marcus's cold words...
His dreams were filled with her soft words and her iron fist. She was everywhere he turned, always just out of reach, mocking him with promises she had no intention of keeping. And then there was Marcus... his voice echoing in the distance, harsh and unyielding. Aikawa whimpered in his sleep, tangled in sheets damp from sweat and tears.
"Aikawa..." Marcus says. "Aikawa..." He repeats it again, worried. "Aikawa!" He calls out to his roommate. Marcus is in Aikawa's room; he had heard noises and sobs in the middle of the night coming from there. When he entered, he only saw his roommate tossing and turning restlessly in bed. That's when he went to his side to wake him up.
Aikawa's eyes fly open at the sound of Marcus's voice, his breath coming in harsh gasps as he whirls to face him, one arm flailing out wildly. "Wh-wha-" He breaks off, looking away again when their eyes meet. His cheeks flush with shame as he curls back into a ball on the bed. "... I'm sorry... I didn't mean to..." He whispers hoarsely, shaking his head as if to clear it of whatever dream or thought had brought him to this point. "It was just... a nightmare..." he lies, his voice barely above a whisper.
Marcus glanced at his roommate over the cloak, noticing a damp patch beneath him. "Sure..." he said weakly. He sighed, turning back to Aikawa. "Go take a quick shower..." he said, standing up and heading for the bedroom door. "...and go to my room..." He said, looking at his roommate over his shoulder with slight concern, before leaving the room to go to his own.
Aikawa nodded numbly and climbed out of bed, barely noticing as he shivered beneath his skin. He glanced over at Marcus, feeling a pang in his chest at the concern he could see on his face. "Yeah... sure," he mumbled, then hurried to take the quick shower that was recommended to him.
After cleaning himself up as best he could, Aikawa wrapped himself in Marcus's spare bathrobe and trudged over to his room. He opened the door slowly, wincing at how much better it smelled in there compared to his own. "Marcus?" he called softly, not sure what else to say.
Marcus opens the door and looks his roommate up and down. "At least you could have put something on before coming here..." he sighed. "Come in..." he said, turning to go to his closet and find some boxers. "And put these on," he said, offering the underwear to Aikawa. "You're not sleeping with me naked..." he said casually, after handing the boxers to Aikawa and turning to go to bed.
Blushing even deeper, Aikawa mumbled his thanks and quickly pulled the boxers on. Then he hesitantly climbed into Marcus's bed, sliding beneath the covers beside him. "Thanks for not throwing me out or anything," he murmured, trying to keep his voice quiet. "I know I can be... a pain sometimes."
He screwed up his courage and shifted closer to Marcus on the bed, hoping that maybe... just maybe... they could talk this all out and figure something out. Maybe even rekindle the friendship they'd once shared. But before he could say anything else, exhaustion claimed him again, pulling him into a deep, dreamless sleep.
When Marcus notices his roommate has fallen asleep, he slips a hand under the covers, taking Aikawa's hand and stroking it tenderly. "Idiot..." he whispers weakly, almost to himself, before drifting off, still holding the other man's hand.
In his dreamless sleep, Aikawa twitches at the touch of another hand, clinging tightly to it as if afraid he'll lose it again. He murmurs something incoherent into the pillow, his body relaxing fractionally against Marcus', seeking comfort and reassurance in the warmth that emanates from him. The tension in Aikawa's shoulders eases slightly, his breathing growing deeper and more regular as he finally finds a semblance of peace in this strange, foreign bed.
For now, he sleeps... dreamless slumber offering no hint at the turmoil that still churns within him. And Marcus? He holds tight to Aikawa's hand, stroking it gently as he drifts off himself, their hands the only connection between them in this silent, moonlit night.
The hours slip by unnoticed as Aikawa continues to sleep, his grip on Marcus's hand growing lax but never completely releasing it. His breathing steadies further, and a contented murmur occasionally escapes his lips as he shifts in his sleep, seeking comfort against the other man's warm body. In the darkness of the room, their entwined forms are the only indication that they are anything more than mere roommates sharing a bed for a single night. And yet, it feels different somehow... deeper and more intimate than either is willing to admit.
Eventually, the first light of dawn creeps through the curtains, chasing away the shadows and ushering in a new day. Aikawa stirs fitfully before finally opening his eyes, looking around blearily until they alight upon Marcus's face. There is a strange, conflicted expression on the other man's features that he can't quite place, and it makes him feel oddly... hopeful.
He clears his throat softly, not wanting to wake Marcus but unable to keep himself from speaking. "Marcus?"
Marcus lets out a small groan, opening his eyes slightly to see his roommate. "What?" he says weakly, his voice still sleepy.
"Nothing," Aikawa says quickly, looking away. "I just... thank you." There's a pause before he continues, voice even softer now. "For everything... yesterday... and last night..." He swallows hard, not quite able to meet Marcus's gaze. "... I don't know what I'd do without you."
The admission feels like ripping open an old wound, but somehow it also feels right. It's a step towards something more... maybe even closer than they were before. All he can hope is that Marcus understands what he means.
Marcus lowered his gaze and felt a small pang in his heart. "Yeah... whatever..." he said weakly. Against his will, he let go of Aikawa's hand and turned over in bed, his back to the other man. "If you're already awake... go to your room and change your sweaty sheets..." he said weakly, closing his eyes. He didn't want to push his roommate away, but he couldn't help feeling hurt by his words, and knowing that Aikawa was still in love with Leila.
"Alright..." Aikawa said quietly, slipping carefully out of bed and heading towards the bathroom to change his sheets as Marcus had suggested. He closed the door behind him with a soft click, leaning against it for support as he tried to gather his thoughts and emotions. What had just happened? Why did it feel like everything was so complicated now? And where did that come from... the thing he'd said about being grateful for having Marcus in his life? Did that mean something more than just friendship to him too?
He took a deep breath, trying to steady himself as he stripped out of his pajamas and replaced them with clean clothes. As he tied his bathrobe around his waist, he could feel the weight of Marcus's words pressing down on him once more, making it harder and harder to think straight. What was going to happen next? Would they go back to being strangers who shared a roof or something more...?
With another shaky breath, Aikawa opened the door and made his way back into the living room, his steps tentative as he approached Marcus's bed. The other man was still laying there, facing away from him, but there was a part of him that wanted to try and bridge this growing gap between them... whatever it might cost.
Marcus was still in bed, staring at the hand that held Aikawa's; it felt cold. He felt another pang in his heart, wanting to be so close to his roommate but not being able to, all because of his roommate. He sighed in frustration. "Idiot..." he muttered to himself, slowly getting out of bed. He wanted to sleep a little longer this morning, but his frustration ended up waking him.
Aikawa paused in the doorway, unsure if he should continue or not. But as he watched Marcus climb out of bed and begin to pad around the room, a strange sort of determination filled him, propelling him forward despite the fear that gripped his insides like a vice. "Marcus?" he said softly, his voice cracking slightly with nerves. "Can we... talk?" There was an awkward silence before Marcus answered, but Aikawa refused to back down now; this might be his only chance to make things right between them again.
"What do you want to talk about?" he said somewhat disinterestedly, without looking at Aikawa, as he walked to his closet to look for clothes.
Aikawa swallowed thickly, unable to meet Marcus's gaze. "I just... I don't want things to be like this anymore." His voice sounded small and fragile even to his own ears, but he pressed on anyway. "Between us, I mean. We used to be friends... good friends. And now it feels like we barely talk to each other at all."
He paused, biting his lip nervously before continuing in a rush, "I know I've been a jerk lately, and I don't expect you to just forgive me for everything... but if there's something I can do, anything..." He trailed off, his voice fading as he waited hopefully for Marcus to say something. Anything at all.
"Ha... lately..." Marcus said sarcastically, not looking at Aikawa. "You always act like an idiot when it comes to Leila..." he said, feeling a pang in his heart. "...it's always the same..." a small lump formed in his throat. "She keeps using you... treating you horribly... and you keep forgiving her like an idiot... believing that next time will be different..." his voice sounded frustrated and tired. "...and you always take it out on me for telling you things to your face... as if it's my fault that Leila treats you badly..." He took a shaky breath and exhaled, feeling like he might cry at any moment. "...then you come back... saying you want to talk to me again... be friends again..." his voice cracked. "...and I forgive you like an idiot... believing that next time you'll be different..." small tears welled in his eyes. "...it's always the same... and I still forgive you..." His voice trembled, and he looked up at Aikawa. "...because I like you..." And Marcus finally said it, confessing his feelings, something he had kept inside for so long.
Aikawa's eyes widened in shock as he heard Marcus say those words, his voice cracking with emotion. It was like a punch to the gut, making it hard for him to breathe. He stood there silently for what felt like an eternity, trying to process everything that had just been said.
Finally, he managed to force out a choked laugh. "What?" he croaked, looking at Marcus in disbelief. "I-I don't understand... you can't mean that." He shook his head vehemently, taking a step back as if doing so could make this all go away. "You're just saying that because I'm your roommate..."
Marcus stared at him in disbelief. "No," he whispered hoarsely, his voice cracking once more. "I've wanted you for a long time... longer than I can remember." Tears streamed down his face as he took another shaky breath and forced the words out. "...and no matter what you say or do, it won't change how I feel about you."
The weight of Marcus's confession pressed down on Aikawa like a lead blanket, making it harder than ever to pretend that nothing was wrong. He took another step back, feeling like he might hyperventilate as he tried desperately to come up with some sort of response that wouldn't break his roommate's heart all over again.
But what could he say? How did you tell someone you didn't love them back when they meant everything to you? He glanced down at the floor, unable to meet Marcus's gaze as he tried to find the words that would make this all go away and leave him free to go on with his life.
But there weren'