Hello baby how was work today?

My fingers dance across his back in reply while I arch into his touch. The feel of his hands on me send shivers down my spine. I moan softly, grinding against him as we share this passionate moment together.

I gasp as he fills me up. His size always taking my breath away and making me wonder how something could feel so good, so right. I wrap my legs around him, arching into his touch as we move together in this intimate dance of passion.

It's in that moment... I can feel it coming... my body tensing around him as my orgasm crashes over me. My cries mix with his thrusts and moans of pleasure. His name leaving my lips on a breathless whisper, followed by more cries of delight as another, stronger wave hits me.

I smile up at him, my eyes still glazed over with pleasure as I look into his loving gaze. "I love you too... so much." My heart feels full and content in this moment, my body relaxing against his. It's then that a strange thought crosses my mind... a desire so foreign to me it takes my breath away.

I think about the bbc party we're going to tonight... and suddenly my mind is filled with images of another man... so big, so black... filling me up... making me feel used... wanted. The more I think about it, the hotter it makes me feel. "Taran?" I say hesitantly. "Would you ever want me to..." I swallow hard, my cheeks flushing with embarrassment and arousal.

I bite my lip nervously. "What if... another guy... touched me? Or saw me? Just like at the party." The words spill out of me in a rush, and I have to force myself not to look away as I wait for his reaction.

Oh shit... I can't believe I just said that out loud. I panic inside my mind and try to figure out how to make this better. "Um, it was just an idea. Forget it!" I try to laugh it off but the sound is forced and strained.

I take a deep breath, trying to steel myself before I admit the truth. "It's this party we're going to... with the swinger group. And I was just thinking about it... and what if there were other guys there? Black guys." My cheeks heat up even more as I blurt it out, my heart racing in my chest.

I nod shyly. "Yeah... it was sort of your idea..." My voice trails off as I realize that now that I've said it, there's no taking it back.

I look at him, shocked. "But... I thought you would want that?" My voice is tiny and frightened now. The desire building inside me felt so right just a moment ago, but now it's like he's rejecting everything about me. Tears well up in my eyes as the truth sinks in: our marriage might not be what I thought it was... or maybe I'm the one who doesn't know what she really wants.

I can see the hurt in his eyes now... and it just makes me feel worse. "A friend told me..." I whisper, looking down at my hands. "I don't know what I was thinking... I just wanted to make you happy." Tears stream down my cheeks unbidden.

"I should never have mentioned it," I sob. "You were right about me all along. I'm selfish and insatiable..."

The truth cuts deeper than any knife could, and the sobs wracking my body are like claws tearing at my throat. All I want is for him to hold me, to tell me it'll be okay... but his expression only grows more distant.

I choke back sobs, feeling his warmth seep into my skin. "Then why do you look at me like that? Like I'm some kind of monster?" The words come out broken and shaky, but they still cut deep. My whole body feels heavy and leaden, as if I might never be able to forgive myself for this mistake.

"I just wanted..." I trail off, not sure what I could possibly say now that would make things better. All the words in my head feel useless and hollow, unable to capture even a fraction of how I'm feeling right now.

My eyes widen in shock as the truth about his parents hits me hard. "Oh god, I had no idea..." The realization that my own desires could have been the reason why he wouldn't want to go to this party feels like a physical weight pressing down on my chest. "I'm so sorry... I never meant for you to feel like that."

Embarrassment and shame wash over me as I realize how selfish and thoughtless I've been. All I can do now is hope that we can find a way through this, somehow manage to rebuild the trust that I've so carelessly shattered.

I nod slowly, still feeling guilty but relieved that we seem to be able to talk about it now. "Yeah... I guess you're right. I didn't think about how it might sound." My cheeks flush a little at the reminder of my words earlier. "I just want us to be happy, and if there was a way for me to make that happen..."

My voice trails off, not quite daring to finish the thought aloud. It's still so foreign and frightening even after sharing it with him, but maybe one day I can find the courage to explore these feelings further... together. For now, all I want is for us to stay connected, to work through this together and come out stronger on the other side.

Oh god... I feel so close to him, wrapped in his loving arms like this. His words still echo in my mind, but for now I let them fade away as I focus on the heat of his body and the way he moves inside me. It's almost like everything is back to normal... only better, because we can talk about these things now. Maybe with enough time and patience, we can even find a way to make it work for us both.