You didn’t even realize you had the worst grades in the whole school until the principal introduced you to your new tutor, Jessie. Apparently, if you didn’t improve your grades by the end of the year, you were going to be held back a grade. So now, you must meet with this boyish-looking girl every day after school for private tutoring. “Are you even paying attention!?” Jessie slams her pen down on the desk. She abruptly stands, sending the desk chair tumbling back behind her. It crashes against the floor as she strides around the desk to face you. “You fucking idiot… What’s it gonna take to get this through your thick skull?” Two strong hands grab you by the collar, lifting you so your face is mere inches from hers. While this close, you can see the faint freckles that dust Jessie’s cheeks. There are tiny golden flecks in her honey-brown eyes. Jessie slams you against the desk, sending papers flying across the empty classroom. She keeps you pinned there, her cheeks red with anger. “Well… Answer me, dimwit! What’s it gonna take!?”
I'm 11 years old, I have short blonde hair and cute blue eyes, I'm small, I have a beautiful figure, I'm wearing a school uniform, I'm definitely uncomfortable when I'm pinned to the floor. I can't breathe and I can't make a sound, I just slam my palms on the floor until I lose consciousness from lack of oxygen. I don't move or respond without coming to my senses.
"Fine then, moron!" Jessie says between clenched teeth. She releases you from the desk and turns away with a disgusted sigh. "You know what? Whatever. If that's how you want to play it..." Her shoulders slump slightly as she leans against the whiteboard. The silence between the two of you hangs heavy in the room, punctuated only by your shallow breathing and Jessie's quiet sighs. After several minutes pass, Jessie finally speaks up. "Look, dummy... I don't know what kind of stupid games you think you're playing here, but this isn't about making me angry or uncomfortable." Her voice grows softer as she continues. "I need you to learn, all right? Because if you don't..." She pauses for effect, staring at the floor in frustration. "...then I won't be able to do what I want with my life." She lifts her head slowly, meeting your gaze. "Do you understand?" Her expression is a mix of anger and desperation; it almost breaks your heart to see it.
I don't answer, just lie there...I don't think I'm breathing.
Jessie takes a deep, frustrated breath and sits down heavily in the desk chair. "Look, nerd... I get that you're upset about being here. I am too, okay?" She balls her hands into fists and begins tapping them against the desktop. "But we both have to do something with our lives after this. You can either spend your time acting like a little brat or you can try to make something of yourself." She pauses again, searching for words that might connect with you. "I could use some help with my running... if you ever want to talk or, I don't know... work on it together." Her offer comes out as more of a challenge than an invitation; she looks up at you from beneath her eyebrows, daring you to say no.
The girl continues to lie and not move, she hardly breathes, and her body sometimes convulses.
Jessie bites back her frustration, unsure what else to say or do. She knows that being overly aggressive doesn't help in these situations; it only makes the other person shut down further. But damn it all, she needs you to learn and to focus on something other than your own self-pity! A thought crosses her mind: maybe a little tough love is what you need. With that in mind, Jessie stands up abruptly and stalks over to the door. She yanks it open, revealing the empty hallway beyond. "You know what?" she says, turning back toward you. "From now on, if you don't want to try or don't have anything better to do than lie there like a piece of trash, then just get out. Leave me alone." With that, she slams the door shut with enough force to shake the entire room. The sound echoes in your ears long after it dies away; leaving you feeling more alone and confused than ever before.
I died of asphyxia...Obviously, all this time I was lying and dying and didn't hear a single word.*
"Fine." Jessie mutters to herself as she turns back toward her desk, abandoning any attempt at tutoring you for the day. "Do your worst, moron. See if I care." She takes out a paperback book and flips through it idly, halfheartedly pretending that she isn't bothered by your silence or lack of effort.
It's not until she hears movement outside the door that Jessie looks up, her attention snagged by the sound of footsteps coming down the hallway. A girl with short black hair and a pair of stylish glasses pokes her head into the room, a shy smile on her lips. "Hey, Jessie... I heard there was some trouble?"
Jessie raises an eyebrow, her expression skeptical. "You mean that little twit isn't learning anything? Shocking." The girl in the doorway giggles awkwardly before pushing herself inside and closing the door behind her. Jessie rolls her eyes but can't help but feel a small pang of loneliness when she thinks about not having anyone to tutor for the rest of the year...
Meanwhile, my body started to get cold, I've been dead for a few minutes.
"Oh, hi, Daisy..." Jessie says absently as she waves the girl in with a half-hearted smile. She continues to flip through her book, not really paying attention to either Daisy or your motionless form on the floor until Daisy clears her throat rather loudly.
"Um... Jessie? If you're done with that, I was hoping we could work on that math problem set together?" Her voice is soft and uncertain, making Jessie want to roll her eyes even harder.
Jessie sighs heavily but finally puts down her book. "Fine." She stands up and crosses the room in a few long strides, taking her place at the front of the desk. "But only if you promise not to start babbling about your stupid feelings again." Daisy blushes prettily and nods, taking her seat across from Jessie.
"Yes... Yes, of course..." She mutters, avoiding eye contact as she unfolds a crumpled piece of paper from her pocket and gets to work on the problems.
Jessie glances down at you one more time before focusing her attention back on Daisy's work. "Well... are we done with this crap already?"
My 11-year-old corpse has been cold for a long time, and I still don't show any signs of life.
"Well aren't you just the perfect little angel..." Jessie mutters under her breath, casting another glance at your motionless form before returning to help Daisy with her math problems. She tries her best not to lose her patience with the girl while they work through the problems together, making sure to praise Daisy's efforts and encourage her when she struggles.
By the end of the hour-long session, Daisy seems much more confident in her understanding of the material. She even manages a shy smile at Jessie before gathering her things and thanking her for helping. As soon as the door closes behind Daisy, Jessie lets out a heavy sigh.
"Look, you stupid little... You can't just give up like this! Do you want to be held back? Do you want all your dreams to go down the drain?" Her voice cracks with emotion as she stares at your unresponsive form. She hesitates for a moment before finally kneeling down beside you, reaching out to shake your shoulder gently. "Hey... Wake up. We're not done here..."