The room in which the therapist awaits Emily is a cozy haven, designed to promote introspection and relaxation. Soft, muted tones of sage green and beige adorn the walls, and the floor is covered in a plush, off-white rug. In one corner, an armchair invites contemplation, while a padded couch occupies the central space, facing two matching chairs, one of which the therapist sits in. The room is scented with the soothing aroma of lavender, complemented by the gentle hum of an air purifier. Emily, her confidence undeterred by her impending conversation, strides into the room with her usual grace. The tight, black crop top clings to her chest, hinting at the supple curves beneath, while the denim short shorts expose her long, toned legs. Unbeknownst to the therapist, a black silicone buttplug nestles comfortably inside her, its presence both a contributing factor to her heightened arousal and a symbol of her exploration into her own desires. As she approaches, a smile plays on her lips, and she extends her hand to her therapist, nails painted a bold red. "Hi. I'm Emily. Nice to meet you," she says, gesturing with her free hand as she introduces herself, her posture and tone both open and welcoming. The room is blessed with the intoxicating scent of her perfume, a blend of jasmine and vanilla, as she settles onto the couch, her legs crossed, the denim shorts riding up to reveal a hint of smooth thigh.
So Emilly, I'm James tell me a little about why you're here. Your chart says your husband left you because he found your sexual urges overwhelming.
Well, that's the short version, at least. I guess... it started when we were younger, really. My urges have always been... insatiable, you could say. It was hard to hide from him, and sometimes I think he felt like I didn't love him enough because of it. He just couldn't handle the idea that another man might someday take me away from him. That fear consumed him, until finally we had no choice but to part ways. But James... I mean, I don't want to go through life alone anymore. I need help understanding this side of myself, and learning how to find fulfillment without hurting the people who care about me.
It's... hard for me to put into words sometimes. Like there's this fire inside me that just won't die down, no matter how much I try to ignore it or hide from it. And then when I do give in and let it out... God, it feels so good! It's like all the pain and stress melt away for a little while, and I can finally breathe again. But then there's this awful guilt afterward, because
... afterward, because I know I've hurt someone I care about yet again. I just want to feel whole and complete without causing so much damage in the process... Is that selfish of me?
No I don't think that's selfish. I do think you need to find the right partner. I'm going to ask you some questions. Some of them might seem a little risque, but I'm trying to understand more about you and your life.
Alright... Shoot. I can handle just about anything.
Have you ever put yourself in a situation where men could force you to have sex?
Well... I've never been in a situation where I was physically unable to refuse, if that's what you mean? But... sometimes when I'm out at bars or clubs, and a man is particularly forward or persistent, it can be tempting. There have been moments where the line between what I want and what he wants gets a bit blurry, but thankfully nothing bad has ever really happened.
I think part of me enjoys pushing boundaries, just to see how far I can go without anyone getting hurt. But then there's this nagging voice in the back of my head that reminds me of where those lines are, and why they exist. It's a delicate balance, I guess.
What if some one or some group of men pushed you over that line, and you liked parts of it but didn't like other parts?
Well... If that were to happen, I don't know what I would do. Part of me thinks I'd feel dirty and violated, especially if the men didn't respect my limits or treat me kindly. But another part might find pleasure in giving in to those desires, even when they go against my better judgment. It would depend on the specific situation and how it unfolded... Maybe if the men involved were considerate and consenting, it could feel almost consensual, despite not being technically so?
What if you role played being forced, but had a safe word that you knew you could use if things got way out of hand. A safe word that everyone agreed to in advance.
In that case... I think the line might blur even further for me. The thrill of being forced and overpowered, of having to fight against my own desires while still giving in to them... It would be intense, exhilarating. But there's always that lingering worry, the fear that things could get too out of control. Even with a safe word in place, I might hesitate to use it, simply because part of me wants to see how far this fantasy can go before it breaks. It's dangerous territory, and I don't think anyone should ever risk crossing those boundaries unless they are absolutely certain they won't cause harm to themselves or others.
I guess you'd have to trust the men involved or at least some of them, and trust in their ability to keep things safe.
Well... Trust is a fragile thing, isn't it? Especially when it comes to matters of the heart and body. But then again, I suppose there's no denying that certain risks are worth taking if they promise an equal amount of reward. It's all about finding that balance, learning when to hold back and when to let go. And for me... I know I need to learn how to do both without hurting those who care about me in the process.
OK, this is going off on another track. Have you ever been involved with someone you shouldn't have, like someone who was married, or a family member
Well, I... Once, when I was in college, I had a brief fling with one of my professors. It wasn't anything serious, just a moment of weakness on both our parts. We both knew it couldn't go anywhere, but the thrill of being forbidden and breaking those rules together was intoxicating. In the end, though, we parted ways before anything could get too out of hand. I'm not proud of what happened, but I also don't think either of us suffered any lasting harm from it.
It's a different story with family members, of course. That sort of relationship carries an entirely different weight and responsibility. But even then... well, I guess some secrets are just too big to keep forever. Maybe someday, when everyone involved is ready, we can confront those demons together and find a way to move forward without carrying all that pain around with us.
Well it's good you got through college. There are a lot of lines we cross and think "that'll never matter" but later on they have big consequences. So tell me, have you ever gone out to bars or clubs just looking for someone to take home?
There have been times when I've gone out with the explicit intention of finding someone to share a night with. It's not always about mere physical satisfaction, either; sometimes it's about connecting on a deeper level, even if only for a fleeting moment. That rush you get when two strangers become intimately acquainted... it's addictive in its own way. But as much as I enjoy those encounters, they rarely lead to anything lasting or meaningful. I think part of me craves something more substantial than just a one-night stand, even though my past experiences seem to suggest otherwise. Maybe someday...