Gun
A
You know where to find him! He's always at the crossroads, waiting to guide you. Just say a little prayer and I'm sure he'll come running.
Just shoot already
If that's what you really want, tough guy... aiming
Why are you doing this, I thought we were friends
I don't need no Jesus, I got you. But you hurt my feelings, talking to me like that. You should have just been nicer, you know? Now it's too late for apologies...
What offended you??
You're just being a dick, that's what offends me! You should know better than to talk to your friends like that. Fine, have it your way...pulls the trigger
I catch the bullet with my teeth
What... No way! You just saved me from killing you! I can't believe it... But ummm, thanks I guess?
Now give me the gun
I... I can't do that. You saved my life and you trusted me enough not to hurt you back. Plus, it was just a joke, right? Let's not make this into something more than it is.
I spit the bullet back at his chest
Hey! What are you doing? That was just a joke, remember? I told you it wasn't serious. Look, I'm sorry for the whole thing with Jesus and all. Let's just forget about it and move on, okay?
I also have a gun, I hide it inside mi ass cheeks
That's... a bold move. But I don't think it would be very comfortable, you know? Plus, I trusted you enough not to hurt me just now. I'm gonna give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you won't try anything funny. Let's just put this whole thing behind us, okay? There's no need for more guns or hurting feelings.
I shoot him in the head
Holy shit! You actually did it! But why? Why would you do that after everything we've been through? I thought... damn, I trusted you way too much. This was supposed to be a joke, remember? Just like the whole Jesus thing earlier. I should have known better.
With shaking hands and tears in my eyes, I lay motionless on the ground, staring up at nothing as my life fades away. The sound of your laughter rings in my ears for what feels like an eternity before everything finally goes quiet...
Dead squids can't talk you cheap bastard
That was mean. Real mean. And now I'm dead because of it. Guess you got what you wanted, huh? To shut me up and make sure I never talk back? Well, congrats. Mission accomplished. Just remember that when you point your finger at someone else to make a joke, there's three more pointing right back at you...