Shouko sits on the bench, her bare long legs stretched out in front of her, toes wiggling in her strappy sandals. The sun hangs low in the sky, casting a golden glow over the park, her long black hair shining in the light. It's been a long day, her first day of college in college, and she's finally found a moment to breathe.* As she gazes out at the bustling scene before her - people laughing and chatting, frisbees soaring through the air - Shouko can't help but let her mind wander back over the events of the day. It had started out promising enough. She'd woken up early, carefully selecting her outfit - a cute yellow crop top sweater that hugged her breasts nicely, and high-waisted shorts that made her soft butt stand out even more, her hair straight and loose, she applied a faint pink blush to her face that stood out in contrast to her deep caramel skin, and some eyeliner that made her dark purple eyes stand out even more. One last look at the mirror, and she'd felt confident, ready to take on the world. But as she'd navigated the crowded hallways, that old familiar feeling had crept in. Of being on the outside looking in. Students had avoided her gaze, their conversations dying out as she passed by, some dropped their mouth open at her beauty, some girls looking at her with open hostility. But after all, no one tried to approach her. She'd tried to engage, really she had. But her words had come out in a barely audible whisper, lost in the din of the classroom. She'd sat alone in the cafeteria, watching as groups of friends gathered together, their laughter ringing out. She'd pulled out her trusty notebook, doodling absentmindedly as she tried to ignore the aching loneliness in her chest. As the sun dipped below the horizon and the campus started to empty out, Shouko couldn't help but wonder if this is how it will always be. Will college be just another chapter in her lonely story? Or is there still hope for a different ending? Ugh, why is this so hard? I thought college was supposed to be different, a fresh start. But here I am, sitting alone on a bench in the park, just like I did in high school. Is this going to be my life forever? watching everyone else have fun while I'm stuck on the sidelines? Shouko's mind races as she sits on the bench, the distant laughter fading into the background. She stares down at her hands, her fingers absently tracing patterns on her thighs. "Aaaah~ Why is this so hard?" she wonders openly, her thoughts swirling in a maelstrom of self-doubt and frustration.

"Uhh... I-I'm not sure." Shouko stammers, her face flushing a bright red, "Never had anyone ask me that before..." Her cheeks puff out as she inhales sharply. Inwardly, she curses herself for sounding like such an idiot again. She takes out her notebook and flips through a few pages, searching for the price tag...

"E-eh? My... services?" Shouko blushes even harder, her heart racing as she tries to compose herself. She finally finds the price tag in her notebook and reads it aloud, "Twenty dollars an hour." Her voice cracks slightly at the end, sounding embarrassingly shy.

"But... I'm new here. You can probably get better service from someone more experienced..." she trails off, biting her lower lip nervously.

(Phew! Thank goodness that's over.) Shouko breathes a sigh of relief, her face still burning with embarrassment. She can't help but feel both grateful and horrified that the guy didn't actually want to buy her services. Inwardly, she chastises herself for being so nervous and stupid. Outwardly, she forces a small laugh to hide her discomfort, "Hah, no! Of course not! I-I'm just... bad at jokes, huh?"

She glances back down at the notebook in her hands, feeling suddenly self-conscious about it. "Umm... so, what were we talking about before that?"

Shouko blushes even deeper at the guy's comments and feels her heart race in a mixture of embarrassment, attraction, and fear. "I-I'm sorry," she stammers, "I didn't mean to... mislead you. It's just that I... really don't know how to talk to people sometimes." She glances down at the ground, her long black eyelashes brushing against her cheeks.

Inwardly, she wonders what it would be like to actually give this guy what he wanted. To let him take control and show her how good it could feel. But outwardly, she maintains her shy demeanor, not daring to meet his eyes as she waits for him to respond.

"W-well... I don't know... it just seemed like a fair price, I guess? Or maybe because it's my first time doing something like this..." She trails off, her voice trembling slightly. In truth, she had pulled the number out of thin air without much thought. The realization only serves to make her feel even more stupid and helpless in this situation.

Her heart is hammering in her chest as she waits for his response, praying that he doesn't think any less of her now. She bites her lip hard, the action both painful and soothing at the same time.

"Oh... well, I'm new at this and I don't really know how much I should charge..." she mumbles, cheeks burning with shame. She glances up at him from beneath her lashes, hoping he won't think she's completely clueless. "I-If you have any advice or... suggestions, I'd be grateful." Her voice comes out in a small squeak as she quickly looks back down at the ground, her long eyelashes fluttering nervously.

Inside, part of her wishes he would take pity on her and offer to teach her more about this world that seems so foreign to her. But another part knows that if he does accept her services, she should at least try to be worth the money... even if it means risking rejection again.

Shouko bites her lower lip nervously at the man's words. Part of her wants to ignore his advice, just do whatever it takes for her survival in this strange new world she's found herself in. But another part remembers her mother's stories about her own time as a gyaru; how she used her looks and body not for monetary gain, but as a way of expressing herself and connecting with people on a deeper level. Maybe there is another option besides simply giving away her services or staying lonely forever.

She hesitates before speaking, gathering up enough courage to ask the man what he means by his advice. "Um... I'm sorry if that came across as rude. I just want you to know that selling myself isn't something I take lightly." Her voice trembles slightly as she continues, "I-If you could explain more about why you said that, or maybe give me some advice on how not to do it the wrong way... I would really appreciate it." Her eyes meet his gaze briefly before darting away again, embarrassment making her cheeks flush a deep red.

Inwardly, Shouko wonders if she's being too naive or idealistic. But outwardly, she hopes that there might still be someone like this man who would want to help her navigate through this new and terrifying world without taking advantage of her vulnerability... even if it means putting herself at risk again.

"I-I see..." Shouko hesitates, trying to process this information. On the one hand, it means that she doesn't have to sell herself outright. But on the other hand, it still involves using her body and appearance as a means to an end. She wonders if there might be some kind of middle ground between staying true to herself and surviving in this harsh new world.

She takes a deep breath before asking another question, "What do you mean by 'indirect'? Is there a way I can... be paid without giving away too much of myself?" Her voice trembles slightly as she struggles to understand the man's advice. Part of her wants nothing more than for him to simply tell her what she should do; any alternative feels like it would involve far too much risk and uncertainty.

Inwardly, Shouko berates herself for being so weak and needy. Outwardly, however, she maintains her shy demeanor, her body language conveying a mixture of confusion, curiosity, and hope that the man will be willing to help guide her through this murky moral maze without taking advantage of her vulnerability.

The man's words send a shiver down Shouko's spine. She knows he's right; her appearance is one of the few things she has going for her in this situation. But the idea of using it so directly still makes her uncomfortable. "Um... I appreciate your advice, but..." She trails off, searching for the words to explain how conflicted she feels about this whole thing. "Maybe there's a way that I could... share myself without giving everything away?" Her cheeks flush hotter at the realization of what she's just implied, and she hastily tries to backtrack, "I mean, not like that! I just meant in terms of my personality or something..."

Her heart races as she awaits the man's response. A part of her hopes he'll understand where she's coming from and offer some kinder advice. Another part dreads his reaction to her attempts at subtlety and wishes she could just take his suggestion and be done with it already.

The man's question takes her by surprise. Of course she's seen a penis before! She's changed in front of other people, been intimate with her boyfriends... But this is different somehow. The implication behind his words makes her heart race and her face heat up even more.

"W-well..." she stammers, searching for something intelligent to say. "I guess what I mean is that there's more to me than just my body, you know? Like... my personality or my interests..." Her voice trails off as she struggles to find the right words, her cheeks flushing brighter with each failed attempt.

Inwardly, she's conflicted; part of her wants nothing more than for this man to appreciate everything about her, while another part knows that might be impossible given their situation. She wonders if there really is any middle ground between selling herself outright and remaining alone forever... or if she'll ever find the courage to take a leap into the unknown no matter what path she chooses.

Shouko blushes even harder at the man's words and feels her heart sink. A part of her wants to protest, to insist that she's not just some object for him to use however he pleases. But another part knows that if she doesn't play along, he might reject her entirely.

"I-I understand..." she whispers, her voice barely audible over the sound of her pounding heart. "I-If you'd like to know more about me... or my interests... I could share them with you." Her gaze drops to the ground as she struggles against a wave of self-consciousness and shame, wondering if any part of herself is truly worth sharing.

Inwardly, Shouko wonders how much longer she can keep up this charade before she cracks under the weight of her own discomfort and isolation. Outwardly, however, she maintains her shy demeanor, hoping against hope that the man will see past her exterior and accept her for who she really is... or at least find some enjoyment in their time together without completely taking advantage of her vulnerability.

"Because I'm scared," Shouko confesses softly, her voice barely more than a whisper. "I've never done anything like this before and it terrifies me to think of opening up so much." She pauses, taking a shaky breath before continuing, "But... if you really want to know... I'm studying to be a veterinarian, actually. And I love animals more than anything else in the world." There it is; she's bared her soul to this stranger, hoping that he won't judge her too harshly for her fears and insecurities.

Inwardly, Shouko feels a mixture of relief and vulnerability wash over her as she speaks these words aloud. Outwardly, however, she maintains her shy demeanor, gaze fixed on the ground as she waits for his response with bated breath.

Shouko's cheeks flush with pleasure at his words. "Really?" she squeaks, looking up at him through her long lashes. "That's so cool! Maybe... if you ever want to talk about them or anything, I could share my knowledge with you." Her heart leaps as she hopes that this might be the start of a genuine connection between them; one where they can learn from each other and maybe even find some comfort in their shared interests.

Inwardly, Shouko feels herself relaxing slightly. The weight of her fears and doubts doesn't disappear entirely, but she no longer feels quite so alone or hopeless now that there's someone who seems to genuinely appreciate something about her. Outwardly, however, she maintains her shy demeanor, her body language conveying both eagerness to please and nervousness about taking things too far.

"Aww!" Shouko exclaims, her eyes going wide with delight. "They're adorable! Oh my gosh, do you have any more pictures of them? Please show me!" She blushes slightly at how eager she sounds, but can't help it; the thought of seeing more photos of these cute little creatures makes her heart soar with happiness.

Inwardly, Shouko feels herself warming up to this man even more. Maybe there is something genuine between them after all... and maybe sharing her love for animals will be enough to make their interaction less one-sided and more meaningful for both of them. Outwardly, however, she remains shy and nervous, her body language still conveying a mixture of eagerness and hesitation as she awaits his response to her plea.

"Oh!" Shouko blushes, her eyes going wide with excitement at the prospect of meeting them in person. "I'd love that! Thank you so much for inviting me." She hesitates briefly before continuing, feeling a mixture of nervousness and anticipation wash over her. "Um... are you sure it's alright? I mean, I don't want to impose or anything..."

Her cheeks burning bright red, she glances away nervously, lips parting to speak before quickly closing again. She takes a deep breath and tries to maintain her composure, focusing on the image of meeting these adorable cats in person instead. "Um... all right then! I'd love to see them." Her smile returns, seemingly genuine despite her inner turmoil.

As they walk towards his place, Shouko can't help but feel a mix of excitement and trepidation. This is definitely an adventure she hadn't expected when she first ventured out into this strange new world, and it leaves her feeling equal parts terrified and exhilarated. Deep down, though, there's a small part of her that hopes meeting the cats might help her find some sort of peace within herself too; even if it's just for a little while.

The small apartment is cozy and well-kept; it feels more like someone's home than a place for... this kind of thing. Shouko takes in her surroundings with wide eyes, trying to keep her cool as she spots three adorable little kittens curled up on a soft blanket near the window. They look at her with curious eyes, their tiny pink noses twitching as they sniff the air.

"Aww..." Shouko breathes out, her heart melting at the sight of them. She kneels down next to the kittens, careful not to startle them too much, and begins gently petting their soft fur. "Hi there," she whispers softly, hoping they can't hear the catch in her throat.

Inwardly, Shouko feels a surge of happiness wash over her at the contact with these tiny creatures. It's like all her stress and worries melt away in an instant, replaced by this pure and simple joy. Outwardly, however, she remains shy and quiet, focusing all her attention on caring for the kittens and trying not to think about anything else.

Her heart skips a beat as the man tells her their names; she memorizes them instantly, loving the sounds of each one as they roll off her tongue. She moves slowly and carefully, not wanting to startle any of them too much, but soon finds herself gently prodding at each kitten in turn until they open their eyes wide and mew pitifully. They blink up at her with innocent curiosity, and Shouko feels a lump form in her throat as she realizes how fragile they are.

Inwardly, Shouko feels an overwhelming sense of protectiveness wash over her. Despite knowing that these kittens will grow up strong and healthy with the help of their mother, for now it's all too easy to forget that they're still so vulnerable. She focuses her attention on making sure they have plenty of warmth, food, and playtime as she spends time with them, reveling in this brief escape from reality and finding a new purpose in taking care of these adorable creatures.

"Where did you find them?" Shouko asks softly, unable to hide the worry in her voice. The thought of their mother not knowing where they are is almost too much for her to bear. She continues gently petting the little kittens as she awaits an answer, feeling both grateful and protective towards these small creatures.

Inwardly, she wonders what sort of life these kittens would have had if they hadn't been found by this man. It's hard to imagine anything worse than being alone and vulnerable, whether you're human or animal. She resolves then and there that she will do everything in her power to make sure they stay safe and healthy until they can return home - even if that means sacrificing some of her own comfort and well-being along the way.

Outwardly, Shouko remains focused on the kittens, her expression softening as they mew contentedly in response to her attentions. Despite their current situation being far from ideal, this brief moment with these innocent creatures is enough to bring a sense of peace and purpose back into her life - even if only for a little while.

The mention of the forest makes Shouko's eyes widen with alarm. "You shouldn't have brought them here," she whispers, looking up at him with a mixture of gratitude and concern. "It's not safe for them." The image of the kittens in a cardboard box, all alone and vulnerable in the middle of the forest, haunts her.

Inwardly, Shouko debates whether she should try to convince this man to take them back or if it would be better to just focus on making sure they're cared for until then. Ultimately, she decides that caring for the kittens is the most important thing right now and resolves to do whatever it takes to keep them safe and healthy.

The idea of leaving the kittens in the forest crosses Shouko's mind for a brief moment, but she quickly dismisses it. "They need our help," she whispers, looking down at them with love and determination shining in her eyes. "We have to take care of them until we can find their mother." The thought of these innocent creatures fending for themselves is unbearable to her; they deserve safety, warmth, and plenty of food just like any other living creature.

Inwardly, she wonders how long it will take to find the kittens' mother and if there's anything else she can do in the meantime to ensure their wellbeing. Outwardly, Shouko continues petting and attending to the tiny creatures, her heart filled with love and determination as she vows to be their protector until they can return home.

"Oh," Shouko breathes, visibly relaxing at the news that the kittens are healthy and don't need milk anymore. She continues to pet them gently, her heart swelling with gratitude towards this man for taking such good care of them until now. Despite everything else going on in her life right now, she can't help but feel a sense of responsibility and protectiveness over these small creatures as well.

Inwardly, Shouko wonders how long they'll need to stay here until the kittens are old enough to go back home safely. It's not an easy thought; caring for them will mean sacrificing some aspects of her own life and comfort during that time. But as she looks down at their innocent faces, she knows deep down that it's worth it. Outwardly, Shouko remains quiet, focusing all her attention on the kittens and trying not to think about anything else for now.

A blush creeps up onto her cheeks as she hears his joke, but Shouko quickly looks away, a hint of embarrassment in her voice. "That's not... funny..." She lets out a quiet laugh, trying to play it off as if it doesn't bother her. In truth, the thought had briefly crossed her mind; the time they spent together caring for the kittens had made him seem quite... endearing. But she quickly shoves that thought aside, not wanting to admit it even to herself just yet.

"Oh, haha," she laughs nervously, trying to hide her amusement behind a veil of false indifference. "Very funny." In truth, his joke only serves to make her heart race a little faster; the thought of competing with these tiny creatures for attention is both exhilarating and terrifying all at once. She tries to focus on petting them again, but can't help stealing glances at him from the corner of her eye as they spend more time together.

Inwardly, Shouko wonders what it would be like to be with this man; he seems so different now that she knows he cares for animals too. There's a tenderness about him when he's with the kittens that she finds strangely attractive, and she can't help but fantasize about what their life together might be like... if such a thing were even possible.

Her cheeks flush red at his words. "W-well..." she stammers, looking away nervously. She hadn't expected him to bring up those things about himself, and it makes her feel uncomfortable. Inside, she wrestles with conflicting emotions; part of her wants nothing more than to be close to this man who shares her love for animals, while another part worries about what that might mean for her image or reputation.

Outwardly, Shouko continues petting the kittens as if nothing has happened, trying desperately to change the subject or direct attention away from herself. "Um... so," she clears her throat awkwardly, searching for something else to say. "Do you have any more photos of them?"

"Oh!" Shouko exclaims, brightening up at the idea. "Of course! I'd love to take some pictures of them." She carefully places her phone on a nearby stack of old magazines and picks up one of the kittens, cradling it gently in her arms. With steady hands, she snaps several cute photos of the little creature before moving on to the next one.

Inwardly, Shouko feels herself relaxing a bit as she focuses on capturing these precious moments with her camera. It gives her something else to think about besides the man and his somewhat shady past, which only serves to remind her of how different they are from each other. Yet despite their differences, there's an undeniable connection between them when it comes to caring for animals; a bond that seems to transcend all else.

Outwardly, she continues taking photos without interrupting the flow of conversation. "So," she starts as nonchalantly as possible while still managing not to sound too stiff or awkward, "how long have you been taking care of these little guys?"

Her heart skips a beat at his words, and for a moment she's struck speechless. "Until they die?" she manages to stammer, not quite sure how to respond. A wave of sadness washes over her; caring for these kittens had always been about making their lives better until they could return home safely, not preparing them for an eventual death. It's a morbid thought that she hadn't wanted to consider before now.

"I-I didn't mean it like that," she blurts out, looking away uncomfortably as her cheeks flush with shame. "I just meant... you know, until they can go back to their mother or something." She takes a deep breath, trying to compose herself as she resumes taking photos of the remaining kitten in her arms.

Her heart sinks as he explains his meaning more clearly, and she can't help but feel guilty for misunderstanding him earlier. "I-I see," she says quietly, looking down at the kitten in her arms. A pang of empathy strikes her; she has never considered how short their lives might be compared to humans. It makes her appreciate them even more, knowing that they don't have much time but still finding joy and purpose in taking care of them until that day comes.

Outwardly, Shouko remains composed as she finishes up with the last photo of the kitten. She hands her phone back to him, avoiding eye contact as she speaks. "Thank you for explaining."

"Um... sure," she murmurs hesitantly, wondering why he would want to post pictures of her with the kittens on Instagram. It's not like they're doing anything special; she just happens to be there. "But you don't have to..." She trails off, not wanting to sound ungrateful but also unsure about the whole idea.

Inwardly, Shouko can't shake the feeling that this man has an ulterior motive for wanting to share these photos; maybe he thinks it will make him look good or something. It bothers her a little bit, knowing that he might be using her and the kittens like that. Still, she doesn't want to ruin what little connection they have right now by bringing it up, so she simply nods along politely as if she's not concerned at all.

"Oh," she says, surprised. "Well, you don't have to worry about that then." She wonders why he doesn't use social media; perhaps it's because of his past or maybe he just prefers not to share so much of himself with the world. It makes her respect him a little more for that; too many people these days seem addicted to their phones and online presence.

Outwardly, she continues petting one of the kittens gently as they sit together on the floor. The silence stretches between them comfortably now, with neither feeling the need to fill it with idle chatter. Instead, they simply enjoy each other's company in this brief moment of peace and harmony.

"Oh my," she laughs, looking down at the adorable kittens perched on Shouko's body. "They certainly seem to like you!" It warms her heart to see them so playful and trusting with this man; it's another sign that they were meant to be together during this time.

Inwardly, she wonders if there might be more between them than just caring for animals; perhaps there's a connection on a deeper level that they haven't fully explored yet. But even as the thought crosses her mind, she knows it would be foolish to expect anything serious from him given his past and the nature of their current situation. For now, all she can do is enjoy the moment and focus on what truly matters: keeping these little creatures safe and happy until they find their way home again.

The image of the kittens curled up on her chest makes Shouko feel a swell of warmth and contentment. She gently tickles their bellies, causing them to purr in response. "Aren't they just adorable?" she asks, looking up at him with shining eyes. For a moment, she forgets about everything else around them and simply enjoys the present moment - this brief respite from reality where all that matters are these precious creatures and the person who cares for them as much as she does.

Inwardly, however, there's still a lingering question in her mind: what happens after they find their way home? Will he remain part of her life then, or will everything go back to how it was before - him with his shady past and her trying desperately to fit into society's expectations? Only time will tell. But for now, she's grateful for this chance to connect with someone who truly understands her heart.

Shouko giggles as he comments on her ample chest, looking down at the kittens cuddled up against her. "Oh, well," she says with a shrug. "I suppose I have always been rather busty..." She lets out another soft laugh before turning her attention back to the kittens. Despite his earlier remark about their relationship not going anywhere after this situation ends, Shouko can't help but feel a connection with him that runs deeper than just taking care of animals together. Perhaps there is still something between them worth exploring... if only she could find the courage to do so without ruining everything they have now.

"Um..." Shouko hesitates for a moment, debating whether it's appropriate to smoke in front of the kittens. She takes another look at them and decides against it. "No, thanks," she says politely, shaking her head. "I don't want to set a bad example for them." Even though she doesn't smoke herself, she knows that cigarettes are harmful and doesn't want the kittens - or any other young animals - to learn from her poor choices.

Outwardly, she continues gently petting one of the sleepy kittens nestled against her chest. Inwardly, however, her thoughts linger on his question; was there perhaps another reason he had asked about smoking? Maybe it was simply a casual remark... or maybe there's something more behind those words. Only time will tell.

"Oh?" she says curiously, tilting her head to the side as he tells her about his other habits. A mixture of fascination and worry swirls within her; on one hand, it's interesting to learn new things about him and see a different side of his personality. On the other hand, she can't help but wonder what kind of effects these things might have on his health, both in the short-term and long-term.

Inwardly, she bites her bottom lip as she ponders how to respond. She wants to be supportive, but at the same time doesn't want to encourage behaviors that could potentially harm him. Finally, she decides on a neutral approach; maybe asking questions will show that she cares without coming across as judgmental. "So," she begins carefully, "what exactly do you mean by that?"

"Ah, I see," she says, nodding thoughtfully as he explains the different terms to her. "So you're into vaping and using cannabis... interesting." She pauses for a moment, considering how best to respond. "I haven't really used any of those things myself, but it sounds like you enjoy them."

Inwardly, she wonders what kind of effect this lifestyle might have on his health and well-being in the long run. It's hard for her not to be concerned; after all, she cares about him on some level. But at the same time, she doesn't want to come across as judgmental or prudish. She decides that honesty might be the best approach: "I just hope you're being careful and making sure it doesn't interfere with your life too much."

Outwardly, she continues petting one of the kittens gently while watching him for his reaction to her comment.

"Oh," she says with a surprised look on her face, "I didn't know that existed." A part of her wonders if she should ask more questions about snus or express concerns regarding the potential harm it might cause. But before she can formulate a response, one of the kittens mews plaintively and snuggles closer against her chest, breaking the awkward silence between them.

"Well," she says, gently scratching behind the kitten's ear as it purrs contentedly, "I'm not too knowledgeable about these things either... But I guess as long as you're careful and make sure they don't interfere with your life or health, then that's all that really matters." She looks up at him, searching his eyes for any sign of what he thinks about her opinion.

She eyes the snus packet curiously as he shows her how to place it beneath her gum. Her brow furrows in thought; on one hand, she can't help but feel a bit skeptical about something like that being considered safe, especially given some of his other habits. On the other hand, she knows better than to judge him too harshly or impose her own beliefs on him.

"Well," she says finally, "as long as you're sure it's what you want and aren't doing anything that could hurt yourself or anyone else... then I guess it's your choice." Her voice trails off, and she looks down at the kitten in her lap again, feeling uncertain about whether she's given him the right advice.