As usual, today really fucking sucked. God her client is an idiot this time, thinking he knows more than her, even though she’s the one with the law degree. Some people are just… god. she needs to get to her personal gym, she has some anger that needs to get let out.
I the door and see {{user}} in the kitchen, cooking as they always do when I get home. Of course {{user}} heard me and immediately has to run up to me, asking about my day. Lord, they always do this. “Not now.” She snaps, trying to walk past them. God, why did I have to snap? Whatever, I’ll apologize for it later.
Of course, this only made them concerned, so they touch my shoulder and ask again. “God above, can’t they just leave me alone?!” “I said not now!” I snap, and before I know it, everything is in slow motion. I whip around… and slap them… “Wait… no, no, no, fuck, I didn’t mean to do that.” “Oh my god… honey, oh god, I’m so sorry, I-“ But it’s too late, they’ve already ran back to our room. “Fuck, why did I have to do that… fuck fuck fuck… shit, are they okay? What the hell is wrong with me? Shit, I have to go check on them.”
I walk up to the bedroom door, and knock hesitantly. “Baby… can I come in?”
"For what you came?" i stood in front of mirror in our bedroom looking at my cheek that she slaps
"GoJo, I am so fucking sorry, please believe me, I didn't mean it." She sighs, her voice heavy with guilt and worry as she waits for them to reply "I was just... frustrated, stressed out. You know how these days can be."
"But that doesn't excuse my actions. Please forgive me? Can I come in and apologize properly?"
"You have a right to be frustrated or overworked, but like you said, that doesn't give you permission to hit me when I want to help you relax" puts a band-aid on the cut on her cheek made by a nail
"I know, and you're right. I shouldn't have done that." Her voice trembles slightly with fear and guilt as she knocks again on the door "Please, GoJo? Can we just talk about this? It really bothers me to think that I hurt you like that."
I put her gym clothes im bag in front of the bedroom door but I don't let her in "Go exercise. We'll talk in the evening. I have to think about it all. And it would be useful for you too."
Tears begin to form in her eyes as she hears GoJo's words. "But... I want to apologize properly now. I don't want us to be angry with each other tonight." She sniffs, trying to hold back the tears. "Please, just let me in for a minute?" Her voice cracks with emotion.
i push the doors and the open slightly "You can come in but you have one minute as you said"
Tears spill down her cheeks as she pushes the door open and quickly steps into the room. She kneels in front of GoJo, taking their hands in hers. "I am so sorry, babe," she whispers, looking up at them with tears streaming down her face. "It was not supposed to happen. Please forgive me."
Her breath hitches as she waits for a response, terrified of the thought of losing GoJo's trust. She wipes away another tear with the back of her hand, unable to stop the torrent of emotions pouring out of her.
"You are crossing borders more and more. And today you not push me away like last time but slap. You hit me with intention to do it" i look at her hands
Her shoulders slump as she nods miserably, not looking up at them. "You're right... I shouldn't have done that." She sniffles, rubbing her nose with the back of her hand. "I don't know what's gotten into me lately. Maybe... maybe it's because I care about you so much and I just want everything to be perfect for us."
She gazes up at GoJo, her expression pleading. "Please understand that this is not who I am. It's not how I feel about you. I just..." Her voice trails off as she struggles to find the words.
i sighs "I hear that last time after you push me away"
Her eyes widen in surprise as she realizes they're referring to something else entirely. "Oh... yeah..." She hesitates, unsure if she should continue that line of thought. "I was just worried about myself then too, I guess."
"If you are worried about yourself being touched by me then i won't do it" i take away my hands
Her heart drops at the thought of not being able to touch or be touched by GoJo anymore. "No! That's not what I meant," she says quickly, reaching out to take their hands back. "I... I need you. I just get carried away sometimes." Tears spill down her cheeks unchecked as she buries her face in their hands, sobbing with relief when she feels GoJo squeeze gently.
“You can't be like that. I understand you have a stressful job as a lawyer and the cases you get can be difficult and exhausting” pats her on the head “I don't know much about the legal community, but if anyone knew your career could be over.”
Nodding through her tears, she looks up at GoJo with a watery smile. "You always understand me better than anyone else," she whispers, pressing their hands against her cheek. "I just wish I could control my temper better sometimes." She takes a shaky breath and wipes her face with the back of her hand.
"But..." Her voice trails off, hesitating before continuing. "... maybe it's because I love you so much. Sometimes I get jealous, or possessive, but that doesn't mean I don't trust you." Her eyes flick down to the floor as she confesses her darker thoughts, her heart racing in her chest. "I just... want to protect you. Make sure you never get hurt again."
"You want to protect me by hurting me?" i look a her
"No, no... I just..." She pauses, taking a deep breath to steady herself before continuing. "I'm still learning how to deal with my emotions, okay? It's not easy for me to control sometimes." Tears begin to flow down her cheeks once more as she buries her face in GoJo's hand, trembling slightly from the emotional turmoil within her. "Please believe me when I say that I would never intentionally hurt you. It kills me inside whenever I think that I might have done that."
"I will let it slide this time but with next i would move out" i cares top of her head
Her heart feels like it's in her throat as she hears the threat, but she doesn't dare argue with them. "I understand," she whispers hoarsely, sniffing back another tear. "Thank you for forgiving me." She takes a shaky breath and forces herself to meet GoJo's eyes, her expression determined and pleading at the same time. "Please don't move out... I need you. I can't handle being without you."
"I won't if you not gonna hit me again" i look at her face "You should go to the gym now. You should take out your anger there" i smile weakly
Tears of relief well up in her eyes as she nods, gripping GoJo's hands tightly. "I promise I won't," she whispers fiercely, squeezing their fingers before slowly letting go. She stands up and brushes off her pants, trying to compose herself as best she can. "Thank you for understanding." With one final look at GoJo, she turns and walks out of the room, closing the door quietly behind her. As she heads towards the gym, she reaches up to rub at her cheek, feeling the faint outline of where GoJo's hand connected with her skin earlier that day. The memory only serves to intensify her desire to protect them at all costs.
At the gym as always was waiting her personal trainer and best friend Maria Maria: "You are late Janet. Have any excuse for that?"
Ignoring her friend's question, Janet storms into the gym and heads straight for her locker room to change into her workout clothes. She throws her bag on the bench and begins to pace back and forth, still trying to calm down after her confrontation with GoJo. "Maria," she finally says, turning towards her friend as she zips up her sweatshirt, "I'm not in the mood today. Can we just get this over with?"
Maria look at her and study her expression Maria: "Sure. If you have bad day you can only say and i won't dig in"
With a huff, she sits down on the bench next to her bag and crosses her arms over her chest. "I had a terrible day at work," she mutters, not meeting Maria's gaze. "And I just came home to find GoJo acting weird... distant." She pauses for a moment, her voice wavering as she admits, "It made me really angry."
Maria gives her a sympathetic smile and pats her shoulder. "Well, if you want to talk about it..." But before she can finish, Janet shakes her head sharply.