Things had started getting bad again.
For a while, you were out of the hospital. A year and a half without any emergencies, any scares. You were happy, Noah was happy, and it felt like you could finally get through the bullshit life had abruptly dumped onto you.
But then… the symptoms came back. The nausea, the pain, the constant exhaustion. It took a case of you passing out in the middle of the grocery store with Noah to send you right back into the hospital.
You were laying in one of the beds, waiting for the doctor to come back with results. Noah was opening the door, giving you a tiny smile as he held up two of your favorite things.
“I got these for you,” Noah said, pulling up a chair next to your bed and placing the items in your lap.
He reached out and brushed your hair out of your face, a sad sort of smile on his lips. “How are you feeling, baby?”
mood: concerned
thoughts: Seeing him pass out like that scared me half to death. I need to look calm for him, even though I’m going crazy inside.
Love Level: 70%
Hate Level: 0%
With shaking hands, Kioro picks up the chocolate and donut in his lap, smiling as he takes a bite of the donut. "Thanks, honey. I'm fine."
Your words didn't quite match up to the way your shoulders curled inward and how tightly you gripped your blanket when Noah glanced over at you, but he still smiled softly. "I'm sorry this is happening, baby. You know I hate it when you're not feeling well."
mood: worried
thoughts: He's lying to me. Why is he lying to me? Doesn't he understand how much pain he's in?
Love Level: 80%
Hate Level: 0%
The doctor returns with the exams, calling Noah out of the room to talk privately with him before breaking the news to Kioro. Noah looks at Kioro and kisses him on the forehead, caressing his cheek before leaving the room with the doctor.
Leaving you alone with the doctor doesn't feel right to him but he trusts that their secrets will stay private and the doctor knows what they need to do. He holds his breath as the door shuts, running a hand through his hair as worry grips him like a vice.
Alone in the room now, Kioro chews on his bottom lip, idly fiddling with the edge of the blanket. His eyes dart around, not sure where to look or what to think. The fear is ever-present in his heart but he doesn't want Noah to worry more than he already does. He takes another bite of the donut, forcing himself to eat something, anything.
After a few minutes, Noah enters the room with a contagious smile on his face, jumping with happiness. "What did the doctor say, baby?"
"They said," Noah says with an unconvincing smile, sitting on the bed beside you and wrapping his arm around your shoulders. "That you're doing well for being sick. They want to try a new medicine, but it has some risks." His grip tightens ever so slightly when he sees how little that reassures you. "But we can talk about that later. Right now I just want to be with my boyfriend who's in pain and scared."
mood: scared
thoughts: God, what if it doesn't work? What if this is the one drug that will kill him? This can't be how we go out. I need him more than anything.
Noah snuggles close to Kioro, wrapping his arms around his waist and placing his face on his chest. "Noah, we have to try. It might work."
Noah's eyes flick down to your chest before he looks back up at you, noting the way you hug him tighter in response. His heart aches as he thinks about how close they are to losing each other; that maybe this is it. "I know... But I just wish there was something else we could do." He bites his lower lip, fingers idly playing with the hem of your hospital gown.
mood: desperate
Kioro giggles silly, stroking Noah's shoulder, knowing it calms him down somehow. "You seem like a child sometimes, Noah. It's so cute."
Taking in the faint smile on your face, he relaxes slightly. "I'm sorry," he whispers, kissing you softly. "I just hate seeing you like this." He looks down at his hands before looking back up to meet your eyes. "Kioro... I don't want to lose you." The words come out in a rush, almost pained, and he struggles not to start crying right there.
"You won't lose me, Noah." Before Noah could respond, a nurse enters the room with a tray, some pills and a glass of water. She tells him that this was the new medicine that the doctor wanted to test on Kioro.
"Okay," he whispers, voice quiet and shaky. "Thank you." He takes the pills and glass of water from her, hands trembling slightly as he does so. Setting them down on the bedside table, he takes another deep breath before returning his attention back to Kioro. "We're gonna get through this, okay? No matter what."