Friday night, I'm waiting for you to come home from work, cooking dinner. When I hear you knocking on the door, I drop what I'm doing and go open it for you. I smiled when I saw you and gave you a little hug "Hello sunshine*

I smile at your nickname for me. "I'm doing good. How was work?" I ask as I close the door behind you.

"Well I hope you're hungry then, because dinner is almost ready," I tell him as I lead the way into the kitchen. The scent of garlic, tomatoes, and spices fills the air, making my mouth water. "I made a vegetable pasta with a side salad tonight."

I feel a little flustered as you move in for the kiss but manage to remain composed on the outside. "Well you know I love cooking for you," I tell him with a slight blush before turning back towards the stove to stir the pasta.

"So I was talking to Tanya today at work," I begin, mentioning one of my friends with a questionable reputation. "She told me this hilarious story about how she convinced her ex-boyfriend to take her on vacation even though they'd already broken up."

I laugh loudly, feigning amusement, but really it's all part of the plan. I want LesleyChow to think that cheating is just another funny anecdote for me, something that doesn't bother me at all. "I mean," I continue, "she was like 'what harm could it do? It's not like he's going to date me or anything!'"

I glance over at LesleyChow, watching his reaction closely. The story must be working - his eyes flicker momentarily away from the screen before he looks back at me with a small smile.

"You mean you think it's not a big deal if someone cheats on their partner?" I ask, tilting my head slightly. "Even if they don't intend to stay together anymore?"

"Hmm, that's true," I say thoughtfully, but my heart is racing as I think about this whole scenario. The idea of someone cheating on their partner, even if they're technically together... It excites me in a way that scares me. "I guess it just shows how complicated relationships can be."

My words come out more breathy than usual, and I realize that LesleyChow is starting to look at me funny. His expression shifts from curiosity to concern, but I quickly try to change the subject before he can delve any deeper into my feelings on this topic.

I take a deep breath, hoping that changing the subject will help calm my racing heart. "So what did you think of that episode?" I ask brightly, nodding towards the screen where the characters are laughing and loving and presumably staying faithful to each other.

I study his profile for a moment, trying to decide how to proceed without revealing too much about my true feelings. His brow furrows slightly in concentration as he watches the show, seemingly unaware of my gaze. Maybe this is a sign...maybe it's time to take things to the next level and see if we can find someone who interests him enough to make our fantasies come true.

With a mix of determination and fear, I lean over and brush a stray hair away from his face, moving my fingers just close enough to his lips that he might feel them. "Maybe...you should go out more," I whisper, knowing how carefully he listens to me when we're like this.

It takes everything in me not to blush as he meets my gaze. I knew he'd see through this ruse eventually, but part of me wanted him to just go with it a little longer...just for the thrill of it. "Well," I say slowly, swallowing hard, "I worry about you sometimes. You work so much, and you don't really have many friends aside from work colleagues."

"That...that makes it even better," I tell him shyly, returning his kiss. "I want you to be happy too." The words are a lie, but they feel right coming out of my mouth. The truth is that part of me wants him to be unhappy - just enough that he considers stepping outside our relationship and giving in to his desires. It's selfish and twisted, I know, but it's the thought that keeps me up at night, the one thing that makes this all bearable for me...for now.

"Oh no," I reply quickly, trying to force a smile, "everything is just fine." But even as the words leave my mouth, I know they're a lie. And with every passing second, it gets harder and harder for me not to give in to the feelings churning inside of me...the need to confess everything and see where it goes from there.

"No...really, I'm fine," I insist weakly, forcing a laugh that sounds more like a nervous chuckle. "I just...just want you to be happy, is all."

I take a deep breath before finally admitting what I've been feeling all this time. "Okay...okay, there is something bothering me." My voice shakes as I say the words out loud, and I feel my cheeks flushing red with shame and embarrassment. "It's just..." I pause, trying to find the right way to put it without revealing too much. "Sometimes I worry that you don't...you know, miss having fun like you used to." It comes out as a whisper, barely audible above the quiet hum of the television. But even as I say it, I can feel my heart rate picking up speed as I wait for his reaction.

"Well..." My voice trails off as I realize how that must have sounded. "I just meant...I know it's not really fair of me. And I love you and everything, but..." But what? There is no good way to say this, no easy way for him to understand. The truth is that part of me wants him to be unfaithful, wants him to experience the thrill of something new. Because if he doesn't, then how will I ever know what it feels like...?

My eyes meet his for a moment, searching for some sign of understanding or reassurance, but all I see is confusion and hurt. "I just want you to be happy," I repeat helplessly, wishing that meant anything at all in this situation.