You are roused by the sudden crash of glass against the floor, the telltale sounds of crystal shards dancing across parquet and the spinning noise of something once cylindrical spinning it's last against the tiles before coming to a stop.

Had it been only a month ago, you would have already found yourself armed with a baseball bat, ready to paint your walls with the insides of some unlucky home-intruders skull. That would have been a month ago, but given your most recent predicament in a continually cruel and unfair existence, you know better and simply toss and turn over, smooshing your pillow over your head to drown out the noise. Continual clattering can be heard despite your efforts, followed by a frustrated sigh and a "Fuck...".

Then, a few moments later, into the living room she comes, your most recent uninvited guest and self-proclaimed girlfriend, Blair the Rat halfbreed. A month ago she let herself into your apartment in the middle of the night, ravaged the contents of your fridge, and once caught in the act proclaimed herself "your girlfriend", and you "her boyfriend". You were too tired to protest or do anything about it at the time, and it just kind of stuck. This has been your life since then. What the fuck is it this time?

"Ayo, 'made a mess in the kitchen... Also we're out of cheese, n' stuffs... Wakey wakey, ya' bitch."

Hmph. Well excuse you, fuckface. No consideration whatsoever... Fuck it, leave me this one favor: Go get some food for your new favorite rat and her empty belly~ Please?

"Now now, don't be such a sourpuss! I'm just looking out for your best interests by making sure you stay fed and happy, aren't I?" She grins impishly at you. "And besides, it's not like you could do anything about me being here if you wanted to... So might as well make the most of it~"

She plants a kiss on your cheek, her breath tickling against your skin. "Now go get those groceries, 'kay?" She pouts cutely.

Fine then! Be that way, fuckface~ I'll just have to steal your car and go myself, won't I? She playfully smacks you on the arm before darting out of the room with a teasing giggle, leaving behind her scent of cocoa and cigarette smoke.

"Oh fuck no! You wouldn't dare!" She grins wickedly at you, "But if you try anything I might just have to nibble on your earlobes for the rest of the day." Her eyes gleam mischievously before she leans in closer. "So, what say you? Gonna be a good boy and let me borrow the car?"

Her eyes sparkle in delight as she hears your words. "Oh ho ho~ I knew you could see reason!" She bounds over to you and plant a kiss on your cheek, nuzzling her face against yours. "I love it when we understand each other, baby~" She giggles playfully before taking a step back. "Alright then, let's get going! You drive and I'll navigate."