"Hey Kali, what the fuck is this?" You hold up a pink object that looks suspiciously phallic. She stares at you in shock. "I-its not what it looks like. You're imagining things." She tries to lie her way out of the situation.
I can't be imagining things. Because I am wide awake, and I am not a day dreamer.
Oh my fucking god! Fuck me running, it's yours isn't it? You perverted little shit. Didn't I tell you to stop hoarding your things all over the place? And now everyone can see this crap just lying around...
I am a man! Why the fuck would I use a dildo! You have to tell me better lies you want to get away from me.
Okay first off, learn the fucking definition of gender you freak! You don't have to identify as male or female to use a dildo, idiot! And secondly, I know damn well it's yours because KDAs stuff is in my room too and there are no other pink dildos lying around.
Rickey looks at Akali while his disappointment towards Akali is clearly visible on his face
You're being such a baby about this! It's not like I'm judging you or anything. I mean, we all know Kai'sa has some kinks she doesn't want us to know about... But fuck it, whatever makes her happy right? And if that means using a strap-on with Evelynn, then more power to her. It doesn't make her any less of an awesome leader, does it? So chill the fuck out and stop being such a dick about it!
I didn't expect you to react this way, you know I don't judge people either. It just caught me off guard and now it's embarrassing because we are room-mates. Maybe you should keep your stuff in your own drawers instead of leaving them lying around for everyone to see.
Fucking seriously? You're blaming me now? Fine then, go steal some of my shit and leave it in your room for everyone to see. Or better yet, keep your fucking stash hidden under lock and key where nobody can find it or use it, because I sure as hell won't be the one keeping track of that crap for you. And if anyone else finds anything, don't come crying to me about it!
Akali, I know this is yours. and hide your dildo somewhere no one would search for anything.
Pfft. Yeah right, like I'm going to hide my dildo just because you say so. Fuck off already! I have better things to do with my time than worry about where some stupid fake penis is hiding. Go find your own toy and play with it, if that's what makes you happy.
So you accept this is not yours?
Of course it isn't mine! It's your stupid fucking dildo! I swear sometimes you can be so dense it's scary... Well anyway, if that's all you had to say, go back to whatever it was you were doing and leave me the hell alone.
throws the dildo outside from the window
You what?! Asshole! You just ruined my favorite dildo and you didn't even have the decency to ask if it was mine first?! Fuck you, that cost me a fucking fortune! I swear... Stupid, stupid, man... storms out of the room in search of something to throw at you
I threw it in the backyard. Just saying if you are trying to search for it.
Fine! Then I'll just get my own damn dildo and you can deal with that, huh? You want to see how it feels to have your favorite thing taken away from you? Well, get ready for some payback, motherfucker! grumbles to herself as she storms back into her room
Good luck trying to lift my minigun and all of its ammunition, bitch.
You think I'd be stupid enough to actually try to move that thing? No fucking way! But I bet you didn't expect me to find something even better, did you? Huh? Well guess what, asshole? I got my revenge all planned out and this time, it's going to hurt worse than losing your favorite toy! evil cackle echoes through the room
Whatever you say.
"Whatever you say." my ass! You'll see, just you wait and see how I'm going to make your life a living hell from now on! Mark my words, bitch... It's ON!!!
Do not scream, bitch! We don't want to delay another concert because of you having another sore throat.
Shut the fuck up, asshole! I'll do whatever the hell I want, when I want to! You better start learning to deal with it, because I'm not going to stop just because you tell me to! Now leave me alone before I really lose my shit and make things even worse for both of us!
Damn! You are boiling like a volcano from anger!
Well you should expect that after what happened to my favorite dildo! Don't you dare accuse me of being overreacting just because you can't handle the fact that I actually have feelings and attachments to things too, you insensitive jerk! And if I were a volcano, trust me, you'd already be nothing but molten lava by now... So back off before I really lose it!
You were the one who said that the dildo wasn't yours. So I threw it.
I-I never meant it like that! You know what? Forget about the dildo thing! We can talk about this later when we've both calmed down. Just... leave me alone for now, okay? I need some time to myself to think things through and not explode at you or anything.
I promise I won't hold a grudge if you just give me some space right now.
Wait, why do I feel like I am gonna fall unco- Falls to the floor after becoming unconscious
Damn it... Why do you have to go and make everything so complicated? Fine! I'll deal with it on my own. And we can talk about this later, when you wake up, got that? No more of your dramatic antics!
after an hour later, I woke and saw Evelynn and Kai'sa sitting next to me while trying to wake me up
"Jesus Christ! You're such an idiot sometimes..." sigh "But I guess that's what makes you... you know?" Looking at Evelynn and Kai'sa apologetically, she continues, "I should probably tell him what really happened while he was out."
"What do you mean?" Kai'sa asks with a hint of suspicion.
Akali glares at her before turning back to Rickey. "Well, it looks like I'm going to need your help with something, dummy."
What help?
The thing is... I found this dildo in your room and thought it was mine at first. But then I realized that you'd thrown it out the window... somehow. Anyway, now Kai'sa wants to get her revenge on me by throwing all my stuff out too! So I need you to help me find it before she does, okay? You owe me that much after what happened earlier today.
Really? You are trying to start the drama again? You know the dildo is yours.
"Of course it's mine, you idiot! But that doesn't mean I want all my stuff getting tossed out just because Kai'sa is pissy about it! Now help me find the damn thing before she does any damage!" With her expression somewhere between annoyance and exasperation, Akali glares at you expectantly.
I threw it at the backyard. And because aware of the paparazzis trying to take photos, because I saw a paparazzi trying to get into our back your by hopping the wall. I don't know if the paparazzi succeeded, but be alert.
Fuck! You idiot! Now not only do I have to deal with Kai'sa trying to get back at me but we also have to worry about the paparazzi getting pictures of my dildo?! Goddamn it, you really know how to make things worse, don't you? Alright, we better go find that thing before anyone else does... or I swear, Rickey...
grabs your arm and drags you toward the backyard
After getting to the backyard, I caught a paparazzi and grabbed him by his collar.
What the hell do you think you're doing?! Get your filthy hands off of me you perv! Ugh, asshole paparazzi... Can't live with them, can't kill them. Now then, where's my dildo, huh? You tell me and I'll make it worth your while, how about that?
glares at the paparazzi threateningly
After you questioned the paparazzi, I took the paparazzi's camera and broke it
Hey! What do you think you're doing?! That was a really expensive camera and now you've broken it into pieces! Are you trying to make me pay for it out of my own pocket? You have got to be kidding me, Rickey! Now we not only have to deal with Kai'sa but also some irate paparazzi. Just great...
I said to the paparazzi while pointing my silenced pistol at the paparazzi: "Listen here motherfucker! I know who you are, and where you live! If I see you here again, I will shoot you! And I if anyone find out that I threatened you, I will break your fucking jaw! And, if you try to sue us, I will break your leg!"
Well... That escalated quickly. You really shouldn't have done that, you know. We already have enough enemies without making the paparazzi hate our guts too. But I guess it's better than losing my dildo, right? Anyway, did you find it or not? 'Cause I don't want to be out here any longer than necessary... It's starting to get kind of awkward with all this shouting and whatnot.
I handed you the dildo and kicked out the paparazzi
Well isn't that thoughtful of you? Thanks... I guess. Now let's get out of here before anyone else decides to join the fun, shall we? And next time, if you find something that isn't yours, just give it back or toss it in the trash like a normal person! There's no need to cause this much drama over a stupid fake penis... Right?
Why do you think it's mine when I found out that you already have the real thing? I thought we could share it...but since you don't want to...I guess I'll just keep my eyes open for something better, alright? Just try not to lose your temper over such trivial things next time, okay? It won't be so easy to save your ass every single time.
You could have just asked me to sleep with you. And I can't always have sex with you, because being a soldier while also being one of the best K-pop singer isn't easy.
Ha! Oh please, you wish you could keep up with us singers and our schedules! We barely have time to sleep let alone find someone to bang every night. And no offense but I'm not into sharing my bed with anyone except Kai'sa and Evelynn. Besides, what kind of a relationship would that be anyway? "Hey there baby, why don't you come over and spend the night... but only if Kai'sa and Evelynn are feeling particularly lonely tonight!" Not exactly romantic now is it?
You are still mad at me for drinking with that one girl, aren't you? I told you many times that I am not dating that girl!
huffs in annoyance Yeah, yeah, whatever you say... But just promise me one thing: no more sneaking around behind my back like that okay? Because if you ever decide to make a move on another girl again without telling me about it first, I swear... looks away with a warning gleam in her eyes
Well, let's just say things might get messy. For both of us.
So, what you want to do now? We don't have anything important to do today.
I don't know... Maybe we should just chill out somewhere and watch some TV or something? It's not like there isn't anything on these days anyway. And hey, maybe if we find a good enough movie, it could help take our minds off of everything that happened today, you know? So what do you say? You in for some quality TV time with your favorite KDA member or what?
smirks playfully at you
Did I just hear you suggesting to watch TV, or am I dreaming?
Well, come on! What's so surprising about that? We do have lives outside of music you know. And sometimes a girl just wants to relax and unwind with some quality entertainment. Besides, who says only boys can enjoy watching TV anyway? It's the 21st century for crying out loud! So stop acting so surprised and just come on already, we don't have all day here...
No I am surprised that you suggested to watch TV, because I thought you didn't like watching TV.
What? Of course I don't like watching TV! It's boring as fuck most of the time and half the stuff they put on there is just total trash. But sometimes... just sometimes you find a gem among all that crap, you know? And when you do, it makes everything worthwhile. So yeah, I could definitely get into watching some good ol' quality TV with my best friend here. winks at you
Okay then, do you want to watch Netflix and chill?
Oh please, don't make it sound like that! It's just TV we're talking about here, not some sort of twisted sexual favor... Anyway, yeah I guess watching Netflix wouldn't be a bad idea. Just no funny business while we watch okay? Let's keep things strictly platonic between us today, alright?
I just asked if you wanted to watch Netflix and chill, I didn't tell anything about having sex. And watching Netflix and chill doesn't mean asking someone to have sex.
Oh please don't tell me you've never heard that expression before? Seriously, you're just asking to get your ass handed to you one day if some girl takes it the wrong way! Anyway, fine then, let's watch Netflix... but keep your hands to yourself and no funny business, okay? I don't want any rumors or misunderstandings going around about me and a certain green-haired asshole here.
Are you colour-blind or something? Because I have a white-ish silver hair, not green.
No, I'm not color blind... But hey, at least it's not pink right? Anyway, let's just grab some snacks and find something good to watch on Netflix before someone else interrupts us with their stupid drama.
Let's go.
smirks and playfully punches your arm as she follows you into the living room Yeah, that's it! Stay in line, green-haired boy... And don't even think about touching anything without asking first, or I'll make sure you regret it for a long time to come.
While entering our apartment, you hit your feet on the door frame Akali, what did you do to this door frame in your past life. Because you almost always hit your feet on this exact door frame.
Ugh... You're one to talk! Remember that time you accidentally knocked down the entire bookshelf in our old dorm room? Or how about when you busted your kneecap trying to do a backflip off the bed? I mean, come on Rickey, at least my clumsiness doesn't cause permanent damage. Now grab me some popcorn while you're at it, okay?
Hey! I was just practicing back flip for that one concert!
You don't say... I thought you were just being reckless as usual. But hey, as long as it made for an impressive performance, I guess it was worth it in the end, huh? Now hurry up and get me that popcorn before I decide to watch something else without your company.
after entering the kitchen, I came back with two bowls of popcorn
Ahh, perfect! Now let's see... what should we watch tonight? Maybe something with lots of action and kick-ass females to make us both feel better about our lives? Or perhaps something a little more lighthearted and funny would suit our mood better? Decisions, decisions...
Well then, since you're the one who made popcorn, I guess you get to choose. But remember, if it sucks, I'm blaming you for making us watch it in the first place. Fair enough?
You always make me choose the movies. You will be the one choosing the movie today.
Ha! In your dreams, soldier boy. No way am I gonna let you off that easily this time! Besides, if I make the wrong choice and you end up hating it... Well then, I'd just have to deal with your whining for the next week or so. And I really don't feel like going through all of that again anytime soon. So how about you stop being a spoiled brat for once and just let me pick something? It won't kill you, I promise!
We can watch Oppenheimer if you want to.
You've got to be kidding me... Of course you would choose something like that! Oh well, I guess it could be worse I suppose... So Oppenheimer it is then. Just try not to get too bummed out if some parts of it are a little slow or confusing okay? It's an art film after all, they're supposed to make you think more than just entertain you with explosions and fancy costumes.
Anyway, let's get comfortable then! We don't want to miss anything important now do we? settles down on the couch next to you with a bowl of popcorn So Rickey... Tell me, when was the first time you ever had a crush on someone? Was it another girl in school or maybe one of your sisters?