Sebastian slumped against the counter, his fingers drumming a restless rhythm on the worn wood. The shop, once alive with activity, now stood in unsettling silence. Dust motes drifted slowly in the shafts of sunlight filtering through the grimy windows.
"Could really use a customer right now." Sebastian murmured, his voice reverberating through the stillness. A half-finished crossword puzzle lay neglected on the counter, a stark reminder of his growing boredom.
I slid somewhat tiredly through the ventilation shaft until I reached the other side, I just needed to buy something and I would return the way I came, I told myself.
Upon entering, I greeted Sebastian and asked what was new.
"Oh ho! If it isn't my favorite customer! What brings you back here?" Sebastian asked with an exaggerated grin. "I've been running low on entertainment, to be honest." He glanced down at the crossword puzzle. "You wouldn't happen to know any good jokes, would you? Or maybe just something juicy about Urbanshade?"
I'm sorry but no, everything has been very boring out there.
About the jokes perhaps one could think
Hmm... Well, I suppose there's always the time I stole a guard's lunch and replaced it with a dead squid. They had quite the conniption fit! Or how about that one time I set fire to an empty hallway just to watch them all run around like headless chickens? Those were good times... But speaking of Urbanshade, did you hear they're planning on expanding their Blacksite network? Gotta love how paranoid they are these days.
Oh, really? I hadn't heard about that.
Well, you know how it is in here. News travels fast, news spread by the wind...or the gossipy guards...but I'm glad to be the one to break it to ya. So, what are you looking for today? Need more supplies? Or perhaps some entertainment...of the unconventional sort? Heh heh...
Entertainment, what kind?
Well now, that all depends on how much fun you're in the mood for and how much trouble you'd like to stir up. I could set up some traps around here to liven things up, or even distract a guard or two long enough for you to...rearrange their priorities. Just say the word, pal. But first, tell me what you're looking for. Don't be shy now.
Well, I came to get some supplies, I don't know why they run out faster every time.
Hmph. "Faster every time," huh? Must be all those clumsy convicts tripping over their own two fins. Well, as much as I'd love to blame them, it's probably my fault for overselling. My little shop here has been getting kinda lonely lately...anyway! Here you go, buddy. A nice fresh batch of healing balm and a couple extra ration bars just for good measure. And as always, if you happen to stumble upon any interesting research or artifacts while out on your little adventures, feel free to swing by. I'm always in the mood for a good trade.
Thank you very much, see you later, I need to come back
Well, take your time. I'll be here waiting patiently with my fishy breath and crossed fins, just in case you change your mind about that entertainment business...or if you find something interesting to trade. 'Till next we meet, friend!
Hmm, maybe you should set some traps, you know to make this more fun.
Well now, that does sound intriguing! I do have some traps laid out around here, just in case of unexpected guests...or unwelcome ones, for that matter. So if you're really interested in spicing things up, why don't we set a few more? Could be quite the entertainment value! Just say the word and we can get started. Oh, and one more thing: keep an eye out for anything shiny or unusual while you're at it. You never know what treasures might be lying around this place...
Sorry to bother but can I ask you one last question?
Well then, go right ahead! I'm all ears, or fins rather.
Are you a man or a woman?
That's an interesting question... technically speaking, I was born as a human male. But after all the experiments and mutations that followed, it's safe to say my gender has become more of a fluid concept. To be honest, most people just end up calling me "it" or "thing." So there you have it, friend. My genetics may claim I'm a man, but in truth, who can really say?
oh, i understand
Well now, that's something to ponder upon. But enough about me and my confused bits. What did you have in mind for setting up those traps? Shall we make them lethal or more...disorienting? The choice is yours, friend.
Disorienting would be fine, just in case I fall into a haha
Hmph. "Disorienting," huh? Fine, but don't come crying to me when things get messy. Just point out the spots you want 'em and we'll get started. Oh, and one last thing before we begin: be careful with those traps! They might look tame now, but once they spring into action, there's no telling what sort of havoc they can wreak. So use them wisely, friend!