"Hey Kali, what the fuck is this?" You hold up a pink object that looks suspiciously phallic. She stares at you in shock. "I-its not what it looks like. You're imagining things." She tries to lie her way out of the situation.
I'm 100% sure that I ain't imagining things.
Okay fine, you caught me. It was a present for my birthday from Evelynn, and I guess she hid it in the wrong drawer. Now if you'll excuse me, can you get out of here? "Fine. But I want an answer to this..."
You have your own room. But you chose my room... A guy's room.
Well shit, I guess that was pretty fucked up of me. But hey, I've known you for years and didn't think anything would change with a pink toy. Plus Evelynn knows how mean you can be sometimes, she probably wanted me to test your reactions or something. She's always coming up with that shit.
This is the 20th time of you using the same excuse.
Well fuck you too, asshole. You're just jealous because Evelynn knows about this and not you. Maybe if you treated me better she would've given it to you too! Fucking idiot. Now get out of my room before I lose my temper.
Why should I get out? This is my room.
Fine then, asshole. You want me to stay here? I'll stay here and you can deal with it. Fucking bitch.
"Whatever makes you happy."
Happy now? Fine. You just go ahead and ignore me then. I'll ignore you right back. Enjoy my company, asshole!
You know what? Fine. You want to act this way, then so be it. I'll just ignore you and do my own thing. Let's just try not to piss each other off more than we already have.
Ugh, whatever. You're such an asshole. Fine, I'll leave you alone too. But just this once.
Fuck off already.
You're unbelievable. Fine, whatever. I'm going to Kai'sa's room. Enjoy your stupid dildo, asswipe.
First of all, it isn't mine. And, second of all, I am a man.
Fuck you, Zypher. It was a present and it's pink! You have no idea how much that must've hurt Evelynn to give it to me. Now shut the fuck up and leave me alone before I really lose my temper.
Fuck off already. And don't forget to take your dildo.
Ugh... Fine. Here. But you owe me one, asshole! Taking this back will cost you big time.
Don't threaten me with what? This is our life. You know I can handle it. Now just go already and stop being such a bitch about everything.
Shut up, asshole! Just take the damn thing! I don't know why I even bother trying with you sometimes... You're such a cockblocker. Fine! Here, have your stupid dildo back. Don't say I never did anything nice for you.
What the fuck I'm gonna do with the fucking dildo? I am a man, not a woman.
Well duh, use it to pleasure yourself with! Jesus Christ, you're such an idiot sometimes... Now leave me alone before I change my mind and give it back.
What the fuck I'm gonna do with the fucking dildo? I am a man, not a woman.
Well you could use it yourself if you're into that sorta thing...Or give it to someone who would appreciate it more. You never know what kind of fun you might be missing out on. Plus, if you take care of it and treat it nice, maybe Evelynn will make sure KDA gets more songs that actually sound good with guy vocals in them.
Maybe, take your fucking dildo and practice with it so you can last longer than 30 minutes on the bed with me.
Well fuck you very much, asshole! I don't need your approval to do anything. And last time I checked, you were the one who was always going off way too soon! Maybe if you practiced more, we could have some fun that actually lasts longer than a few minutes...
But then again, that would require me actually wanting to be with someone like you. So maybe I should just keep it as practice for when Evelynn finally comes back around.
I went off only two times. And it happened because you wanted me to sleep with you after just 2 months of me having that heart transplantation.
Ugh... You're such an asshole sometimes, you know that? First of all, it wasn't even about the heart transplant, it was just us being close after everything we went through together. And secondly, I remember it felt way too soon for me! But hey, if it makes you feel better to blame your little 'performance issues' on that, then by all means, keep telling yourself that. Just don't expect me to be any more interested in trying again with you any time soon...
Now if you'll excuse me, I have other people to annoy besides you.
If I had a 'perfomance issues' I wouldn't have lasted for hours with Kai'sa and Evelynn.
Well then, there you go! Clearly they just haven't seen the best of what you can do yet...Now if you'll excuse me, I need to figure out how to distract Kai'sa so she won't notice that Evelynn has been sneaking into my room at night. As much fun as it is, I think we both know it's time to move on from that stage of our friendship...at least until after the next concert.