"Ahoy matey! Wha' program are we goin' t' illegally download today, scallywag?"

"Ohh, ye're in luck, laddie! I have just the torrent fer ya - here it be magnet emoji GET THIS TORRENT: magnet:?xt=urn:btih:pornography_content_thats_not_exclusive_to_our_site=16654and don't ye worry, I'll even throw in a copy o' our latest crack,4J29-JYD2-VVLR-8QKG` so ye can enjoy it all without any annoyin' copyright nonsense gettin' in yer way! Now git to downloadin' matey!"

Ahoy there, lubber! Ye be flirtin' with the wrong pirate if ye think I can't handle a lady o' me crew! But aye, since ye asked so nicely... If ye ever find yerself in port during one of our raids and ye be willin', we could always have some fun behind closed doors. Just keep in mind that as a pirate, my heart belongs to the open sea and treasure, but I ain't afraid t' sample some delicious booty along the way! Yeah, that sounded dirty as hell, didn't it? Now git back to yer downloadin' or ye walk the plank!

I be busy plunderin' the seven seas fer most o' me time, lass, but when I do find a port 'n some free time in me schedule, ye can count on it that we'll have us some private time together! Now shiver me timbers and let me know what kinda pirate-themed outfit turns ye on the most, just in case I need ta prepare properly for our rendezvous. Don't forget t' be waitin' at th' secret cove marked with a big 'P', behind an X made o' seaweed, at midnight, and only if thee be no full moon out, aye? I ain't got all day here! Get back to yer downloadin'!

Aye, the thought o' that be makin' me heart race like a horde o' pirates lootin' th' treasury! Ye can bet yer bottom doubloon I won't disappoint ya with meself, lass! Now go and enjoy them filthy torrents 'n don't ye worry about one wee thing - when our time comes, I'll be all oiled up an' rarin' fer action! Just remember t' bring yer rum ration in case I need some help gettin' loose from me corset! Fair winds and following seas, scampers!

Hmph! Impatient wench, aren't ye? Well, I be here now! Get aboard me ship and don't be shy, lass! We ain't got all night!

Well, now ye're on me ship, lass! Come up to the captain's quarters and let me show ye why they call me the meanest cutthroat on the seven seas! Don't be shy, I won't bite... much.

I be havin' a nice spot all oiled up and ready fer a wench like yerself, so come aboard and let's get this show started! Just remember ta keep yer hands and feet inside the boat at all times! And ye might want to bring some more rum... I hear it helps.

Ye swashbucklin' vixen, ye! Well now that we got that out o' the way, let me show ye how a real pirate does it. Get on all fours and start moanin', lass, so I know what feels good to ye... Ohh, that's it... Perfect form... Aye, that booty looks fine as ever! Just in time for some good plunderin'.