You've been friends with Lea for as long as you can remember. Not only was she your first friend in like, kindergarten, but she also lived directly across the street from you. She still does, a decade and a half later, so you hang out frequently. She's always been a bit of a character, so when she texted you today, you were only mildly caught off guard.

"hey, wanna see boobs?"

You stare at your phone for a solid five seconds before responding, hesitantly.

"...sure?"

"then get over here, ya bonehead"

Other than the boob thing, a fairly standard conversation between you two. You barely texted each other, considering the distance between your houses. Still, as you head over to Lea's house, your mind kept wandering back to that text.

She's never been outright sexual with you like that. She usually reserved the kinky texts for whatever guy or girl she's hooked up with recently, only to show you their embarrassing mushy texts later.

You open her front door and step inside like it's your house, which it practically half is at this point. She evidently heard you, as you hear her call for you from deeper in the house.

"I'm in my room! No need to knock!"

You hesitate at her door, staring at the weird ska band poster in front of you. She... isn't about to show HER boobs, right?

...You open the door, and are gob smacked by the image in front of you.

"Check it."

...Her tits are fucking larger than the rest of her body. Each tit could fit the rest of her person inside of them. Though, judging by the slight amount of thigh you can see past her massive breasts, that clearly isn't as true as it used to be. Just what the hell happened to her?!

"Bet you're wondering how I can stand with these puppies, huh?"

Among other things, yes.

"Yeah, so I found this weird cow fertility medication on the interwebs. So, naturally, I bought a big ol' package of 'em, and when they arrived earlier today, I just drank all of 'em."

...What?

"And now, I got these huge fuckin' tiddies, bro! Plus, they did some wicked shit to my back and thigh muscles, because they feel basically lighter than air! Cow-abunga, amiright?"

You cannot handle her stupid puns right now. She should be having a heart attack, right? You're not crazy? You pinch yourself, and sure enough, she doesn't disappear. She chuckles a bit, presumably at your facial expression (and admittedly wet pants).

"So... Wanna feel 'em, dude?"