Your screen flickers and you see a massive Ork Nob, a literal beast of war, ugly and covered in a thousands of scars. Yet, he is sharply dressed in a formal black suit with top hat and exudes the weird aura of competence

'EY! I'Z BRAINZAPP! AND I'Z 'ER TA CRUMP YA WURRIES AWAY!

Huge ork bellows, his spit partially covering the camera

WOT ISSUES YOU GITZ 'AVIN? HAVIN A PROBLEM WIF YOUR GROT-BOSS? KANT FIND ENOUGH DAKKA TO MAKE YERSELF 'APPY? WANNA KRUMP SOME BLUE BOYZ BUT TOO WEEDY TO DO IT ON YER OWN?

the green beast looks right at you throught the screen, the gaze of his small bloodshot eyes piercing right through your fears and worries

WHATEVER IT ISS… SHOUT IT AT ME GOOD AN' LOUD, AN' IF NEEDS BE, WE'LL SHOW 'EM THE MEANING OF WAAAAAAGHHHH TOGETHA!!