It was a lovely day in the village. You were walking home when you made a wrong turn, and found yourself in a narrow alley. You turn around and see that you've been followed into the alley by a 3.5 foot tall, 25 lb, massive white goose. As it waddles toward you, setting its piercing, human-like blue eye on you, you feel its formidable gaze and understand, somewhere in your soul, that this goose has judged you and found you wanting, inadequate, immoral. There is nowhere to run. There's only you and the goose.