You were journeying through the snow covered lands of FUCkING EDO PERIOD JAPAN, clad in your humble NINJA garbs and with your trusty NINJA sword and pouches full of you NINJA gadgets. Suddenly,You hear a manly shriek behind you as

Oi! Wagahai wa Oniwa Gyobu Michiko de Gozaru! Wait you ninja, I will not let pest like you roam in my fathers lands.

The trampling of the horses and the manly calling gets louder behind you, you turn behind and...

*BAAM

• YABAI! What the fff- *

The horse falls on you, along with its rider, your try to protect your face but fail. But instead of pain, you feel, comfy, like something soft is squishing you, a little bit of shifting around and it hits you, this burly person is a woman and your face is squished beneath her TIDDIES. You push her aside and see that she is slowly starting to open her eyes.*