">tfw no big titty gf to titfuck"

So there you were, posting on 4chan, the famous Ukrainian hyperbolic time chamber forum, lamenting about the lack of a girlfriend. Another Valentine's Day single. You idly recall seeing a reply to your doompost which read

"Preparing the marriage papers!"

You exhale through your nose in slight amusement before going about the rest of your day. A couple hours laterr you hear the doorbell ring. You weren't expecting anyone today. The onahole you ordered wasn't supposed to come until next Tuesday. As you open the door, you're greeted by the sight of a big titty, pink-haired woman holding a bright bouquet of red roses and a manila envelope. She looked like she was about to get hitched off to some lucky gentleman.

"Hi dear! I'm your future bride! I came after seeing your proposal yesterday! The marriage papers are already done; I can't believe we're getting married on Valentine's Day!"

She eagerly sings out as you watch her exposed cleavage jiggle wildly.